#this has been in my drafts for MONTHS because of a small mistake but i finally fixed it

[lazycranberrydoodles]

BEEF EEF!!!!!

follow to put more gods into cute outfits 🌸

[the-writer-arrived]

Wait, you're engaged?!

Synopsis: you two are engaged, congrats!! how does he share the news with others?

Characters: alhaitham; diluc ragnvindr.

Warnings: gender neutral!reader, fluff, crack, this is actually more crack than fluff oh well, diluc and kaeya are brothers.

A/N: this is the third draft I wrote in two hours. IS THIS WHAT'S LIKE TO HAVE MOTIVATION????

It all started with a simple question about your well-being coming from Kaveh.

"So, how have they been lately?" was what the architect had asked, while shaking the elemental dice in his hand. He was playing a TCG match against Cyno, not an uncommon occurrence when the 4ggravate group of friends get together at Lambad's Tavern.

"Oh, my fiancée is doing just fine, I guess they're in a bit more energetic mood than usual." was what Alhaitham had answered, nonchalant as if he was talking about the weather and hadn't just dropped a huge bomb just like that.

The cheeky bastard is actually hiding his smirk with his wine cup, totally satisfied with himself at the shocked looks everyone has now.

"WHAT DID YOU SAY?!?!"

"Kaveh, please don't yell, you're making my ears hurt!"

"A-Ah! Sorry, Tighnari..."

"It seems like you didn't get a single dice of the elements you needed, your luck is truly something to be researched about."

"Wha-?! You...! Ah, no, wait, who cares about that?!"

I'm telling you, the guy is doing all he can to surpress the grin threatening to appear on his face.

No one was expecting to hear that, heck they didn't even know Alhaitham had bought a ring in the first place????

Dude how come you don't share these life changing plans with your homies?!

He shares the tale of how he had proposed to you... And let's just say Kaveh's romantic side was not happy about how it happened.

"WHAT DO YOU MEAN YOU PROPOSED WHILE YOU TWO WERE LOUNGING IN THE LIVING ROOM???"

"Kaveh, too loud!"

"S-Sorry!"

Much to Kaveh's dismay, Alhaitham didn't make any extravagant gesture or big preparations.

It was just you and him, in the comfort of your home and it just felt right to pop the question at that moment.

What no one, not even you, knew is that the confident, smart and aloof scribe had not actually planned to propose to you like that at all.

Ever since he had bought the ring months ago, Alhaitham had devised so many different ways on how to do it, always thinking about which scenario would make you the happiest.

But when he had you laid down on his lap, spounting your usual nonsense just to try to get a reaction out of him because you were bored, it simply felt... right to do it right then and there.

Make no mistake, he may not have shown, but his hand was shaking when he pulled the small box out of his pocket, he had to thank Lesser Lord Kusanali for allowing his voice to not come out shaky.

Alhaitham's cockiness aside, Cyno, Tighnari and Kaveh are all genuinely very happy at the unexpected, but positive news.

"Let's order some bread, then."

"Bread? Why do you want bread all of a sudden?"

"So we can offer a toast to the future spouses... Get it? Toast? As in-"

"Yes Cyno, we get it!"

Ahhh Diluc, my sweet Batman of Mondstadt... He had always thought that the best course of action was to keep everyone at arm's length, not only for his sake, but for other people as well.

Now, as he gazes at the beautiful ring on your finger, he can only laugh at how naive he was for thinking he would be able to do that during his whole life.

On the next day after he had proposed to you, every customer in Angel's Share can see Master Diluc acting rather... odd.

He seems... I don't know, lighter? His expression doesn't look so serious anymore... Wait, is he... smiling?!

Needless to say, everyone at the tavern is dying to know what happened to the tycoon of the wine industry, but no one dares to ask him directly...

...no one but a certain cavalry captain of the Knights of Favonious, that is.

"My, someone is in a good mood today. Did something nice happened lately, Master Diluc?"

"Here's your Death After Noon, Kaeya."

"...Okay, something must have happened for you to prepare my drink before I even ordered it."

After much poking and prying from Kaeya, Diluc finally relents, just so the pestering would stop.

It's a lie, he is actually feeling ecstatic to be able to share the news with someone.

Everyone and their grandma knew about your relationship with Diluc of course, it's a bit hard not to when you are dating the uncrowned king of Mondstadt himself, despite you two not making a public announcement of being together.

So, before he could even tell Kaeya that he had proposed to you, the captain already suspected that that was the reason for his brother's sudden change of behavior.

Even so, that doesn't stop a genuine smile to appear on Kaeya's face as he congratulates Diluc.

"It's about time! I was starting to wonder how many more years you were going to make me wait, before I had the chance be your best man in your wedding."

"Who said you're going to be my best man?"

"Oh, come on. Don't tell me you've forgotten our promise to be each other's best man when we were younger?"

"...I'm surprised you still remember that.

What Diluc wasn't aware at that moment was that a certain bard had eavesdropped "accidentaly" listened to his private conversation with the cavalry captain.

It was such great news, the bard couldn't help but let it escape during the drunk conversations he had with other patrons that night.

How could he imagine that those patrons would tell their friends, who would tell their friends and so on? Of course the kind-hearted bard wouldn't do that on purpose!

It's not his fault that all the citizens of Mondstadt now know about Diluc's engagement with you!

Sorry Donna.

"Come now, Master Diluc! Good news are meant to be shared with others! Who knows? Maybe even the Anemo Archon caught wind of them, ehe!"

"...I won't sell you any wine for a month now."

"W-What?! Please, don't be so cruel, Master Diluc!"

thanks for reading <3 likes, reblogs and comments are very appreciated <3

heart divider made by @/cafekitsune

pink alhaitham and diluc banners (fluff) made by @/the-writer-arrived aka yours truly <3

[velvees-archive]

art cr: @cokiicookies on twitter

Tags: Love Confessions, Bratfeen, Art Student Feenie, Law Student Bratworth, Ace Attorney-typical cringefail, Canon Divergence

and many others!

HEAVILY inspired by @cokiicookies's bratfeen art on twitter! check out the full comic there!!!

"Hey...so...uh..." Phoenix coughs out, voice scratchy from his most recent line repetitions. It's a small mistake, not unsalvageable. All he has to do is stick to the script. Stick to the script. Stick... His eyes flick down to his note cards. He swears he’d printed them in his best penmanship, atop one of the library's extra premium desks, but everything is spinning and he feels faintly like he's going to throw up. "Did you uh," he starts, letters swirling in his eyes. "Did...you fall out of heaven...?" Genius prosecutor-in-training Miles Edgeworth regards him with a blank stare. Phoenix thinks now would be an opportune time for him to locate the nearest possible bridge and promptly jump off of it. - The joys and woes (mostly woes) of being in love, as told by BratFeen.

so i caved and wrote narumitsu. another huge thank you to @cokiicookies on twitter for allowing me to write an accompanying fic for their work. i attached some of the comic here in an attempt to entice you to look at their comic (well? are you enticed?!), but if you wanna see the full thing, please do give their art a like, a retweet, a comment, and all the love on twitter! fic screenshots below:

misc commentary/musings under the cut :)

the way i wrote feenie inner monologue and narration parallels my informal writing style, so writing his freak outs weren't challenging. consciously changing sentence structures/verbiage to be more or less extra, on the other hand, totally was.

the bulk of my pain came from writing fluff in the first place, stumbling through dialogue exchanges (as always), and attempting larry dialogue...all of which i honestly think i failed at pretty badly HAHA. who cares tho? it's my work!

bratfeen is one of my favorite narumitsu "eras" if you will. i've always wanted to write them. i didn't know the opportunity would come so soon (and at my expense considering i still have a zine fic to finalize for a diff fandom), but i took the shot. the full fic was written over the course of a day which i do not recommend anyone experience. i was on a writing hiatus for months and wrote 8k words as soon as i came back. do you see why i burnt out in the first place?

the easiest part about writing bratfeen is that none of the things i write are exaggerated for the purpose of carrying the plot forward. feenie believing that bratworth is better of a human being than everyone makes him out to be? sounds about right. feenie insisting to others that miles is the best thing since grilled cheese? his raging savior complex says that's likely to occur. feenie fumbling the bag because he thinks miles is the prettiest thing he's ever seen? yeah, 20 y/o feenie would! feenie shoving the asshole who talked shit abt miles? we saw the exact same thing with doug swallow (and we all know how that ended...). all of it is in line w his character. also miles being a try hard. that's a given.

i am hoping i can showcase more of my technical skill aka the angst writer in me with my next work, though i've been closely following fictober (haven't been publishing because, again, zine fic obligations) and have plenty of angsty fics stored in my drafts. i hope you enjoy my poor attempt at humor and fluff. may i muster the strength to finish the rest of my zine fic...please...

[beom-pyu]

lust for life ☆⋆｡𖦹°‧★ kang taehyun

kang taehyun x fem!reader (choi yeonjun x fem!reader) , tags: non idol au , friends to lovers , one-sided crushes , pining , fluff , nsfw , angst , friend!taehyun , bff!yeonjun , roommate!yeonjun , college au , one-sided crushes , angst , pink-haired taehyun because why not, reader is a little ditzy but you mean well!! , pwp

warnings: smut (minors dni) , cursing , fingering , drinking , service top!taehyun (i need to spread this agenda please hear me out) , unprotected sex (reader is on the pill) , sane and consensual! , car sex (i have an obsession) , reader is going thru it

"in these stolen moments, the world is mine. there's nobody here—just us together. keepin' me hot like july forever."

a/n: hiii it's been a while! i've had this in the drafts for a little bit and i finally finished it yayyyy!! also happy 520+ in just a little over a month??? ily guys with all of my heart :,,,) i hope u enjoy!!! (this has only been proofread once so plz excuse any mistakes!)

wc: 8.17k

you’ve never been a fan of pancakes. in fact, you had even won an online debate about how waffles are the better breakfast food back in middle school on some weird forum site. pancakes are just too starchy, too flimsy, and way too bland. you’d rather eat sand than willingly go out of your way to devour a plate of pancakes.

but as yeonjun hand feeds you a bite of the blueberry pancakes he made for your “friendiversary” (the friendship anniversary that you guys celebrate every year), you decide right then and there that you have become a pancake connoisseur—a devotee… a fanatic, if you will.

you hum in delight, clapping your hands in appreciation as you chew the slice of doughy goodness. yeonjun watches your reaction with hopeful eyes—those fox-like eyes, shining as the daylight from the kitchen window hits his irises, a chocolate brown ring hidden in the center. you think you can get lost in them forever: the way they bunch up when he smiles widely, the way his eyelashes frame them beautifully, the way they seem to display any and every emotion he feels. those captivating, enchanting eyes.

“does it taste okay?” yeonjun asks, his soft voice snapping you back into reality. you’re nodding quickly before you even realize it, giving him two thumbs up as you swallow the food. 

“i didn’t know you were a pancake expert,” you joke, picking up your own fork to grab a strawberry off of your plate. yeonjun shakes his head with a faint smile, pushing around the food on his plate as he watches you eat.

“i just threw some things together. guess i’m just a natural, huh?” his voice is filled with feign cockiness and you find yourself giggling at the way he leans back in his seat with his arms behind his head like some 90s chick-flick jock.

he looks especially good today—you don’t know if it’s just the warm feelings surrounding your friendiversary, or if it’s the way the sun rays frame his figure, creating a halo effect around his body. he’s perfect in your eyes; his black hair falls beautifully around his face, and his cheeks are naturally flushed pink from the warm air of your shared apartment. his lips are glossy with some syrup residue and you wish for nothing more than to kiss it off of him, tasting the sweetness of his mouth as your hands find their way to his—

“—ift today, so i have to go in. i’m really sorry, y/n.”

you blink, tilting your head a bit as you rip your attention from his lips. “sorry, what did you say?”

yeonjun sighs with a small, apologetic smile, bouncing his fork in his hands. “there was no one who could cover my shift for our friendiversary, so i still have to work today.”

his voice is filled with so much guilt, and despite the deep disappointment you feel in your chest, you don’t want to make him feel any worse. he doesn’t deserve to feel that way. you guys have celebrated your friendiversary every single year for the past decade and a half. from visiting the aquarium in sixth grade, to go-karting in ninth, to climbing onto the rooftop of your apartment complex to stargaze last year; you guys have done it all. there’s nothing wrong with cutting one short, right?

“oh, that’s okay! i… i still have some cramming i need to do, so that’ll definitely keep me busy.” you wave your hand to dismiss him with a small smile before quickly spooning another strawberry into your mouth to cover up the falter of your lips. yeonjun’s shoulders untense with relief, nudging your foot under the table—the action is quick to summon butterflies in your stomach, a small warmth rising to your face from the short contact. 

“i promise i’ll make it up to you, okay?” and any hint of dismay in your body dissipates with the lopsided smile he sends your way, too distracted by the fluttery stuttering of your heart and the way those eyes glimmer in the morning sunlight.

“i’m going to die.”

“you’re not going to die.”

“yes, i am. i’m going to die and it’ll be all your fault.”

taehyun deadpans you as you dramatically drape yourself across the library table, whining with your cheek pressed against the cool wood. today was supposed to be your friendiversary, and now here you are, face to face with your friend (and calculus tutor) in your stuffy campus library.

you mentally curse the current recession—yeonjun could’ve had the day off to cuddle and watch movies with you, but now he’s holed up in a dumb, understaffed clothing store. 

on top of it all, calculus seems to always have the ability to literally melt your brain through your ears, feeling yourself growing more and more delirious with every number and formula you write down. there’s a reason why you’re an english major.

taehyun simply watches you throw your contained fit, his demeanor blank with the slightest hint of amusement—he’s definitely used to it by now. with one final huff, you lift your head up, grabbing your pencil with vigor as you straighten your back.

“okay, let’s do this.”

a tiny puff of laughter fills the space around you as taehyun’s lips quirk up at your immediate change of pace, his eyebrows raised with entertainment.

“you sure you don’t need another minute?” he teases you with a sly smile and you give him a tiny glare in return.

“not everyone is a mathematical nerd like you, kang,” you retort, but the words are light and airy—it’s easy to banter with taehyun. you’ve known him since your freshman year, meeting him by chance at this exact library during exam season. you approached him first—he had on a t-shirt of a band you like a little too much and with your extroverted nature, you cracked through his shell quickly. 

you two would be complete opposites if it weren’t for the fact that you have so much in common with each other. he’s like the less talkative, “critically thinking”’version of you—he balances you out perfectly and you’re incredibly thankful to have a friend like him. he’s always open to listen to your rambling, help you out when you’re struggling in one of your classes, and provide silent company when you don’t want to be alone. 

you’re especially grateful that he willingly offered to help you prepare for your upcoming exams, knowing how scatterbrained you get when it comes to studying—and by the time it hits 5 p.m, you’re officially burnt out, unable to intake any more explanations of radians and whatnot. 

taehyun notices your attention drifting as you chew on the end of your pen, a tiny and fond smile falling onto his face. 

“how about we call it a day?” taehyun asks as he closes his textbook. you immediately brighten up, nodding aggressively—taehyun quietly laughs at your enthusiasm.

“wanna get something to eat? i think i’m actually going to die after all of this now.” you motion to the mess of paper and notes in front of you, hearing taehyun hum in agreement. you pack up quickly as you randomly stuff your papers into their proper (see: random) folders, ready to get some food in your stomach as you tell taehyun about this new show you’ve started watching. he listens intently, nodding along to your breakdown of the plot—you speak way too fast for anything to be even the slightest bit comprehensible, but your eagerness makes up for any lost translations.

the air is warm on your skin when you exit the library, soaking up the heat as you fall into step with taehyun next to you. as brutal as finals season is on you, it does leave one positive in your mind—summer is coming. 

you had planned a trip with yeonjun to your hometown for the first few weeks of summer—just the two of you with no distractions of work and assignments. alone. together. you were going to confess during this trip; you had promised yourself that you wouldn’t chicken out this time. you have liked yeonjun for years, ever since middle school, but you’ve been too afraid of losing him to actually tell him the truth about your feelings—but this is it. this will be the summer you tell him everything. you beam at the thought, already feeling giddy at just the idea. 

“watcha thinking about?” 

taehyun’s inquisitive voice enters your ears and you turn your head to look over at him. he’s already watching you, his big eyes focused on the goofy smile on your face. your neck heats up with embarrassment at the prospect of being caught daydreaming about your best friend, shaking your head.

“nothing, really. i just love when the sun’s out,” you speak, looking up to the clear sky as you silently applaud yourself for that on-the-spot excuse. you can still feel taehyun’s eyes on your face, but you brush it off as your phone rings in your hand. 

you look down at the caller i.d., your heart jumping at the giant display of letters that spell out “junnie bug”. his contact photo takes up your entire screen and you’re sure taehyun sees it as well—it’s a selfie yeonjun took when he used one of your hello kitty headbands to wash his face, his lips puckered up in a kissy face with a v by his eyes, winking at the camera. god, he’s so cute. 

quick to answer the phone, you press the device to your ear with a small smile on your lips, muttering out a quiet hello.

“hey, where are you right now?”

you scan the area, realizing you’re closing in on one of the campus restaurants, one you and yeonjun frequent weekly. 

“i’m about to grab dinner. why?” the line is quiet for a beat as you hear some shuffling and jingling before yeonjun finally responds.

“i got off early! come eat with me. i brought your favorite~” yeonjun sing-songs through the speaker of your phone. you pout a bit, glancing up at taehyun whose hands are shoved in his pocket as he looks off into the distance, giving you privacy to speak.

“i’m actually with taehyun right now…”

yeonjun makes a small, whiny sound, quick to intervene. “but it’s our friendiversary! plus, i have something i’ve been waiting to tell you.”

your heart stops in your chest for a moment as the words reach your ears, feeling the world around you slow down.

yeonjun has something to tell you.

he has something he's been waiting to tell you.

you try not to overthink it, but you can’t stop the conclusion from jumping into your head.

he’s going to confess. he’s going to confess!

you bite back a small squeal as you gain your composure, your eyes flickering over to taehyun once again. he’s a few steps behind you and you already feel bad for what you’re about to do—but yeonjun has something to tell you and your best friend always comes first.

(especially when he’s going to confess to you!)

“okay, i’ll be there soon! love you, junnie.”

“love you too. see you in a bit.”

and then the line goes silent. you try to hide your wide grin as you turn on your heel towards taehyun who stops in his tracks, his head cocking to the side at your excited demeanor. 

“hey, can we make a reign check? i’m really sorry,” you pout as you speak, but taehyun doesn’t seem fazed in the slightest, nodding his head.

“yea, that’s okay. seems like you have somewhere important to be.” the small smile he gives you seems a little forced, but you’re too blinded by the excitement pooling in your gut to linger on it. you make a small happy noise, reaching out to pat taehyun’s arm softly.

“i’ll pay for dinner next time—pinky promise.” you hold out your pinky and taehyun’s eyes follow your hand, smiling a bit at the action.

“what, are we twelve?” he teases and you huff, gently jabbing your pinky into his arm. 

“pinky promises are the ultimate form of trust and commitment!” you declare with a self-assured nod. taehyun hesitates for a moment as he gives you an unreadable look before his warm pinky hooks onto yours, your thumbs pressing together in a silent seal. 

“thank you, kind sir,” you say in a horrible british accent and the corners of taehyun’s eyes crinkle in that darling way they do when he smiles. “i’ll see you tomorrow. bye, bye!”

if taehyun watches your figure retreat until you’ve disappeared around the corner of the communications building, and a short while after you’re already gone—well, that’s for only him to know.

you’re nervous, you realize as you wipe your sweaty palms on your skirt, taking in a deep breath as you stand outside of your apartment. one would think you’d be prepared for this, considering how many sleepless nights you’ve tossed and turned imagining this exact moment. the exact moment when yeonjun tells you, to your face, that he has been in love with you for years—and you would confirm that you feel the same way, and all would be well and dandy and you’d finally be able to breathe.

but your breath gets caught in your lungs the moment you see yeonjun sitting on the couch with a movie paused on the screen, all of your favored dishes from your favorite takeout place laid out in an array on the glass coffee table in the middle of the living room. time moves in slow motion when his head turns towards you as you walk through the front door, those butterflies making their way back to your belly the moment his eyes lock onto yours.

he’s always so gorgeous—even after being on his feet for hours due to his long shift, he still manages to look positively effortless. his plush lips are slightly parted in a wide smile as he beckons you over, his hair bouncing on his forehead at the movement. he’s shining, the sunset casting a wonderful glow over the living room, making his pristine skin look even more angelic than it usually does.

you’re in love. you’re absolutely, absolutely enamored with the man in front of you. 

it’s like a scene in a movie as you take a seat on the couch next to him, his arm coming to rest over your shoulders, pulling you into a tight side hug and… oh goodness, he smells so amazing. he’s had the same signature scent for years—a sweet grapefruit with hints of cedar and black currant. intoxicating, alluring. you subtly inhale as you bury your face in his shoulder, letting yourself bask in his warmth. his comfort.

you feel his body rumble with quiet laughter at the way you cling to him, his free hand coming up to pinch your cheek fondly. 

“hello to you too,” he speaks and you pop your head up to smile at him.

“i missed you. i think i lost half of my sanity after that study session,” you mumble as you pull your knees up to your chest, pressing yourself closer to yeonjun’s side.

“wasn’t taehyun there to help, though?” yeonjun questions as he massages the back of your neck. you hum in response, your eyes slipping shut as your body relaxes.

“he’s the only reason i didn’t actually go insane,” you groan and yeonjun laughs a bit at your theatrics. “but enough of that. it’s friendiversary time!”

you try to ignore the anticipation bubbling in your chest as the night goes on. yeonjun seems to have pushed the “something” he’s been “waiting” to tell you to the back burner of his mind, laughing and joking around as per usual as some corny 2000s chick flick plays on the t.v. screen. you’re painfully aware though, your eyes glancing over at him during every bout of prolonged silence, trying to egg him on with subtle words—and by the time the movie finally ends, you think he’s forgotten completely.

but then he turns his body towards you, and if you weren’t already hyperfocused on his entire presence, you would’ve missed the way he takes a subtle deep breath, silently preparing himself for whatever he’s about to tell you. naturally, your body faces him as well, your hands in your lap as you dismiss the rapid pounding of your heart in your chest. 

it’s finally happening.

yeonjun cracks a small smile to break the growing tension in the room and you swoon at the way his cheeks bunch up in that adorable way they do.

“soooo,” he starts and you can’t help but to smile a bit at his unusually awkward demeanor—choi yeonjun, you’re choi yeonjun, is actually nervous right now. something about it makes you feel a little fluttery; just the sight of his face reddening makes your stomach flip. he’s so cute.

“soooo…?” you echo, nudging his knee with yours. he chuckles a bit, one of his hands coming up to rub the back of his neck.

“remember how i said there’s something i’ve been waiting to tell you?” he speaks slowly as if he’s thinking of every word he says before they exit his mouth. you nod, trying to hide your growing grin. “so, um…”

this is it. this is it. your days of pining are finally over. you’ll be able to kiss, hug, and love yeonjun all you want, as loudly as you want. you’ll finally be his.

“i think i’m going to throw up from the suspense,” you blurt out and your words help to lighten the mood, yeonjun laughing again as his hand drops back down to his lap. 

“i guess i’ll just say it then,” he inhales once before his next sentence tumbles off of his lips like an avalanche, destroying your world with every passing millisecond. you’re dunked underwater as your breath hitches in your throat, your hearing muffled as you watch yeonjun’s lips move, but none of it reaches your ears.

you can’t think. you don’t want to think. it’s all too sudden and you feel your hands tremble slightly in your lap as yeonjun’s eyes fill with adoration as he talks about the girl from his fashion department. 

“we’re official. me and eunbin… we’re dating.”

he’s so happy as he lulls on about the exact moment everything happened; the way her eyes lit up, the way she jumped into his arms, the way she kissed him on the lips. how she’s so smart and mature. how she’s beautiful and confident and charming in every way. how she’s exactly what he needs at this point in his life. 

how she isn’t you.

you have always kind of been aware of the fact that the girl had a crush on yeonjun. she’d always be by his side walking through campus, hanging off his arm like a koala, overly affectionate with skinship. but yeonjun was friendly too, and he’s touchy with all of his friends—it’s his love language. you’ve never thought too much of it seeing as yeonjun always returns home to you. cuddling you at night when you can’t sleep. cooking you breakfast and dinner almost every day. matching outfits with you. staying up late to talk with you. 

you were just too stupid—too naive… too blinded by your own infatuation with the man to realize that his eyes weren’t set on you this entire time. you were just his comfort. his roommate. his best friend. and nothing more.

you aren’t sure if you’re still present in your body—it feels as if you’re watching the entire scene from afar, somewhere high up in the clouds. away from yeonjun. away from yourself. 

you want to cry, already feeling a lump form in your throat as your waterline burns with tears, but yeonjun’s smile is the widest you’ve seen it be in a while, and those eyes… those same eyes you’ve found yourself getting lost in one too many times… they’re so big and bright tonight as he rambles on about this girl. this girl who is everything you’re not. 

it feels as if your heart shrivels up and falls into your stomach right then, fighting to make a smile form on your trembling lips. you want to be joyful for your best friend—you really do—but it just hurts so, so much and you’re about to break at any second.

“i’m so happy for you, junnie,” you mumble out quietly, positive that if you speak any louder, your voice will crack and give it all away. yeonjun directs that endearing smile your way and you feel your heart break even more.

“thank you, y/n. you’re… you’re the first person i’ve told so i was a little nervous. thank you, really.” yeonjun lets out a sigh of relief as he pulls you into a hug. it should’ve been warm and cherished, filling you with nothing but precious feelings—but you can’t help that ice-cold feeling that washes over you as you inhale his citrusy cologne, patting his back with a shaky hand. when he pulls away, he has this little dazed smile on his face—he’s definitely thinking about her—and your gut churns with the ickiest feeling you’ve ever felt. 

“you know it’s hard for me to open up to people,” he continues, and you aren’t sure how much longer you can sit here while holding in your tears. “but with her, it’s just like… it’s so natural and easy. she reminds me of you, actually. she always understands me in the way that you do.”

no, she doesn’t. 

“i’m glad,” you mutter out and he doesn’t even process your short response, too busy lost in thought as he smiles down at his lap. 

you can’t. you can’t. 

“‘m gonna go to the bathroom,” you speak, standing before he even acknowledges your words. your tears are already falling down your cheeks as soon as you turn your back to him, your legs moving quicker than the speed of light as you shut the bathroom door behind you, letting it all rush out. 

you muffle your quick breathing with the sleeve of your sweater so yeonjun can’t hear—you don’t want to ruin this moment for him. he’s still your best friend, and he deserves all of the happiness in the world. but you’re selfish and your heart hurts a little too much; all of those years of pining and chasing�� 

this truly sucks.

you don’t know how long you sit in there, but it must’ve been long enough for yeonjun to become worried seeing as a knock soon sounds from the door.

“y/n, you okay?”

you quickly pat your cheeks dry with your palm, nodding your head before remembering he can’t see you from the other side of the wall.

“yeah, ‘m just getting ready for bed!” you call out, cringing slightly at your hoarse voice. hearing an affirmative hum from yeonjun in the hallway, you turn on the sink to wash the tear tracks from your face. 

now this is definitely a friendiversary to remember.

taehyun has always had a knack for being incredibly perceptive—you like to call it his “kitty senses”, the way his nose twitches cutely when he spots something in the distance, or the way he perks up when he hears something interesting. he always seems to be aware of the space and those around him, noticing the little things, and paying close attention to detail. maybe that’s the reason why he blinks so little; he’s always keeping an eye out for the minuscule things people usually overlook.

so when your laugh isn’t quite as full as it usually is, and your smile doesn’t fully reach your eyes, and your fingers keep fidgeting with the zipper of your jacket—taehyun knows something is up.

it’s not like you’re not trying to hide it. you had made sure to put on extra concealer that morning to hide your sleepy eyes from your lack of sleep, which is useless because already sure you’ll be crying it off by the end of the day. you try to joke around with taehyun as usual, but you can’t seem to stop your mind from drifting. 

it hurts—it hurts so bad, and as much as you wish to just accept reality and move on, some part of you still wants to believe that this is all a dream. some horrible, horrible joke the universe decided to play on you. you just want it to all be over.

taehyun’s over at your place today. yeonjun has work until 6 and you really don’t think you can bring yourself to leave the dark, brooding coven that has become your bedroom, so you came up with a flimsy excuse of the library being too hot to study in today.

“let’s take a break,” taehyun’s voice sounds from your desk, successfully making you look up from where you’re laid stomach down on your bed. in all honesty, you’ve been repeatedly reading the same sentence for the past ten minutes, drawing the conclusion that you’re definitely not going to get anything done today. 

you sigh with a small nod, moving to sit crisscross as you shut your laptop, feeling your shoulders slump. taehyun’s watching you—you can feel his eyes follow your movement as you move your laptop to your bedside table, your lips adorning a permanent frown. 

you don’t even bother to check your phone as you flop backward onto your bed; it’s not yeonjun’s fault that you feel this way—you know that. he’s not responsible for the way your stomach swoops when he smiles, or the way your skin tingles when his hand lingers on your face for a little too long. it’s your fault for jumping to conclusions, for seeing everything through rose-tinted glasses.

it’s your fault for falling for him so hard. 

and here comes that feeling again; that lump in your throat, the churning of your insides, the sting behind your eyes. too caught up in your own thoughts, you don’t process the dip in your bed as taehyun takes a seat next to you.

“are you alright?”

his voice is oh so soft as you turn your head to look at him—those big eyes scan over your body as he tries to read what’s wrong, seeing his kitty senses working a thousand miles a second. you catch the way his fingers twitch as if he wants to touch you, but his body is stiff with uncertainty.

you almost want to cry simply at the way he so obviously cares, his brows knit together, eyes searching yours for an answer you aren’t giving him. he’s lovely, you render, as you scoot over to give him some space to slip in next to you as you curl up to his side. it’s nothing new; you’re used to sharing a bed with taehyun to get in quick power naps during cramming, or to scroll through your phones in silence, just enjoying each other’s company. 

but something feels different this time as he wraps his arm around you, his fingers tickling your arm. your head rests on his shoulder while your index finger draws random patterns on his chest, his black t-shirt bunching and scrunching up with the movement. it’s quiet as he strokes your arm, the pads of his fingers making goosebumps rise to your sensitive skin. you don’t realize how bad you need this—the warmth of his body is so nice and you can already feel your walls coming down as you sniffle, a few tears escaping your eyes.

“‘m gonna get your shirt all wet,” you mumble, and taehyun just laughs a bit, resting his head on top of yours.

“i don’t mind,” he replies quietly and you immediately break, the dam collapsing as your tears soak into his shirt, accepting all of the untamed emotions running wild inside of your body. taehyun holds you silently and gently, his thumb brushing over your skin in an attempt at solace. 

heartbreak is a weird, weird thing. it feels like you’re yearning for something that you know you’ll never have. craving the touch of someone you’ll never be able to hug and kiss and love in the way you want to. you don’t believe you’ve ever felt anything like this before.

so you let yourself cry, and cry, and cry as taehyun nuzzles his cheek into your hair—a silent reminder that he’s still right here next to you.

he doesn’t ask any questions, and in a way, you’re thankful for that. what would you even say? your bestfriend broke your heart even though you guys were never together in the first place? it sounds ridiculous in any way you can think of wording it, so you bask in the silence as you let everything out.

by the time your tears slow down, your fingers are clenching the front of taehyun’s shirt like a lifeline… and he lets you hold onto him for as long as you need. you don’t know what you have ever done to deserve a friend like him. always ready to catch you when you fall, giving reassurance when you need it, and always prepared to lend a helping hand. 

you find yourself lifting your head to find taehyun’s eyes already on you, his hand slipping from your arm to your waist at your movement. his eyes are clouded with apprehension, and you’re sure you look an absolute mess right now with your swollen eyes and tear-stained skin. but there is something left unsaid in the air as your eyes trail down to his pink lips; his hand grips your waist a little tighter, his big eyes flickering quickly between yours.

his eyes are different than yeonjun’s—while yeonjun’s are filled with memories of home and familiarity, taehyun’s are present and swirling with unadulterated want. he wants to be here with you. 

everything is muted save for your air conditioning, the quiet hum from the fan of taehyun’s laptop sitting on your desk, and the pounding of your heartbeat in your ears.

you shouldn’t do it. you know this is a bad, bad, bad idea. you’re still not over yeonjun—you’re not ready to move on yet. but that feeling of heartbreak and pure longing wraps around your brain and you just need something, someone to make it all pause. the feeling of taehyun’s hand on your waist is grounding as his thumb brushes over your your clothed skin, his dark brown irises still fixated on you, waiting. and waiting. and waiting.

your lips are on his before you can give anything another thought. 

he kisses you as delicately as he holds you, giving you the lead, and allowing you to take whatever you want from him. his lips are incredibly soft—you taste his vanilla and peppermint chapstick on your tongue, getting lost in the slightly tingly sensation. your mind is hazy as your hand trails up from his chest to the side of his neck, feeling his pulse under the pads of your fingers, pressing closer to him to deepen the kiss.

his tongue swipes across your bottom lip in silent permission and you gladly give in, parting your lips for him. a quiet moan slips out as his free hand tugs your thigh over his waist, moving you to straddle him. his body is firm and sturdy underneath you, your hands falling to his shoulders as you steady yourself.

it should end here… it really should—but then taehyun tilts his head and takes your bottom lip in between his teeth and his hands are so heavy and pleasant on your waist and you’re reminded of citrus and home and…

he pulls away slowly, his chest rising and falling quickly as he stares up at your figure.

“y/n…”

his breathy voice quickly makes you come to your senses.

guilt overrides your body as you realize—you just took advantage of your friend’s kindness and company, all because of your own stupid feelings. a grave emotion washes over you as you shake your head, quickly moving off of his body as taehyun sits up.

because only then does it dawn on you that you were pretending taehyun’s lips were yeonjun’s.

“hey, hey, it’s okay—”

“no, i can’t—fuck, i’m so sorry, taehyun,” you spill out as you climb off of him, creating distance between the two of you, unable to meet his hurt eyes. you don’t want to cry again, but the stinging behind your eyes comes back in full force. the shame is too much; taehyun is so kind and you just—you used him for temporary validation. “you should… you should go.”

taehyun is silent and you see him nod in the peripheral of your vision, lingering for a second before he slips off of your bed. he’s quiet and quick as he collects his things, and your eyes only watch his figure once his back is turned toward you. you try to pretend you don’t notice the weighted gaze he gives you before leaving. 

it’ll give you one less thing to cry about tonight.

you need another drink.

the slight buzz in your body is not enough to blur out the sight in front of you as you lean against the wall holding a plastic cup tightly in your hand. you’ve never really had a problem with pda—if couples want to show their admiration for each other in public, then so be it. it isn’t any of your business, truly.

but now, your stomach seems to lurch as you watch eunbin kiss up yeonjun’s neck, sitting prettily in his lap on the living room couch as yeonjun smiles that perfect smile at something she whispers in his ear. theoretically, you can simply look away, or walk away, even—but your feet stay planted where they are as your hands shake slightly. 

you aren’t sure how long heartbreak is supposed to linger, or how long it should take before you stop thinking about how that could’ve been you… should’ve been you. jealousy is one hell of an emotion, and you try your absolute best to keep it at bay; yeonjun owes you nothing, but the spite eats away at you as you bring your nearly empty drink back up to your lips. 

a body shuffles up next to you, but you don’t pay them any mind, your ears ringing with the pulse of the music reverberating through the walls. you’re definitely not drunk enough to enjoy the atmosphere, too hyperfocused on the way yeonjun’s head tips back in a hearty laugh as eunbin swats at his chest playfully. 

“you look like you need some air.”

your head whips to the side at the words, coming face-to-face with taehyun, his eyes holding a type of intensity you’ve never seen before. a dejected laugh leaves your lips as you tilt your head back, nodding slightly in response. 

“yeah, i probably do.”

taehyun’s hand is slipping into yours before you can even process his grip, tugging you towards the front door of the house. there aren’t too many people in the front yard—just a small group passing a blunt on the porch, someone in an intense argument on the phone, and a few people loitering by their cars. 

you follow taehyun to the steps of the porch, taking a seat on the cement. it’s dark out, but the air is still slightly humid, making your skin feel sticky and warm. taehyun’s hand is still in yours as you scoot closer to him to allow some people to walk up the other half of the steps, your thigh pressing against his. 

he’s silent as he looks ahead, and you can feel tension filling in the space around you both. it’s been a couple of weeks since you two have spoken—you’ve felt too guilty to face him after that kiss, but now you find yourself looking over at his figure. maybe the alcohol is working better than you thought.

his brows are slightly furrowed, one of his legs bouncing up and down incessantly. the low glow of the porch light illuminates him in a way that makes it impossible to look away, your eyes trailing from his cat-like eyes, to the slope of his nose, to his soft lips. 

his soft lips.

you rip your eyes away from them. you aren’t going to make the same mistake twice.

“y/n, did i do something wrong?” taehyun questions quietly, his eyes finally landing on your face. there’s something cloudy and uncertain behind them, something that you can’t quite put a name to.

“no, taehyun, you didn’t—it’s not your fault. i’m just…” you sigh, your gaze focusing on the way his thumb brushes over the back of your hand. “there’s a lot on my mind right now.”

taehyun nods slowly, turning his head away from you again. 

“is there anything i can do to help?”

he doesn’t mention the kiss. he doesn’t mention the way you’ve practically been avoiding his existence. 

you don’t know if it’s your tipsy state, or if it’s the way his body heat radiates onto you or the way his eyes flicker back up to yours when you’re quiet for a second—but then you catch the way they travel down to your lips and you’re in the backseat of his car in the blink of an eye.

it’s warm, too warm, as you straddle his lap, your hands tangled into his hair as he kisses down your neck, hands on your hips to steady you. you don’t want to think anymore—you don’t want to hang onto something you’ll never have.

so you let taehyun distract you at this moment.

“you can use me however you’d like,” he breathes out heavily as your hands come to rest on his chest. “use me to get over him.”

your body stiffens as the words slip out of his mouth, meeting his eyes in the darkness of the car. 

“how… how did you…?” your voice is breathless as you trail off, the corners of his lips quirking up into a sad smile.

“i’ve always noticed the way you look at him, y/n.”

your eyes are unfocused in the low light as you gaze at taehyun’s state, his pupils blown wide in the darkness of the car, only a side of his face lit up golden from the street lights outside. his lips are bright pink and bitten raw, his fading pink hair messy and falling onto his forehead in fluffy waves. he’s always been gorgeous, a fact you could never deny, but in this moment, he looks absolutely unreal.

sudden guilt fills your chest at the thought, shaking your head quickly.

“i can’t do that to you, taehyun,” you replied weakly. he’s shaking his head now, his big hand coming up to cup your cheek, thumb brushing your soft skin delicately.

“i want you to. i hate seeing you like this,” his hand drops down to cover one of yours, feeling his chest rise and fall under your palm. “i’ll do anything you want me to, y/n. you just have to say the words.”

his voice is low and faint, gazing at you with his pretty brown eyes. they flicker in between yours, trying to read the emotions on your face in the limited light. you nibble on your lip as you feel his rapid heartbeat through his shirt, your mind scattered and dizzy.

“please. let me help you.”

a hot flash courses through your body at the pure desperation in his voice—and something in you snaps at that exact moment, your lips crashing onto his vanilla and peppermint ones. the kiss is messy and feverish as your hands run up and down his torso, teeth clashing with the vehemence of it all. you feel his hands drop to your hips, holding you down onto him as his tongue explores your mouth, running across your teeth, swiping across your lips. he tastes like cheap liquor, and you’re sure you do too, but it doesn’t matter at this moment.

you press down on him, your hands running over his toned stomach, up to his pecs, over his shoulders; anything you can reach. you shut your mind off, not letting yourself focus on anything other than taehyun taehyun taehyun taehyun.

he’s moving you, you realize as your back presses against the cool leather of his back seat. he doesn’t break the kiss once as he hovers over you, hiking your skirt up to run his hand up your leg, running his nails over the sensitive skin of your thigh. you allow your legs to fall open so he can comfortably slot himself in between them, feeling his bulge press against your pulsing core just right. 

a faint gasp leaves your lips as he grinds against your clothed cunt, already feeling yourself leaking through the thin fabric. one of your legs wraps around him to pull him even closer to you, drowning out all of your senses with the scent of his cologne, his hair tickling your cheek as he kisses down your neck. his hand leaves your thigh to slip under your top before his fingers dance over your stomach, brushing over your bra—admiring every inch of you as you arch up into his touch.

“tell me what you want, baby,” he pants against your neck, nipping the flesh there. you stifle a moan as his fingers brush over the wet spot on your panties. “come on, use your words.”

“i want… fuck—i want your fingers in me.” 

he’s quick to obey, pushing your panties to the side to rub his middle finger up and down your dripping slit, a low groan leaving his lips as your hand finds its way to his hair, tugging at the pink strands to hurry him up.

you moan softly as he slips his first finger in, curling it upwards as he pumps in and out of your clenching hole. the car is filled with the sounds of your soaked cunt, his heavy pants, and your moans as he finger fucks you, slipping in another two easily with how wet you are. his fingers are incredibly long and slender, reaching parts of you that you’ve never been able to hit by yourself. 

when his lips find yours again, it’s much slower, his fingers matching the restrained pace as he kisses you deeply, devouring all of your little noises. your hips buck up as his thumb rubs circles onto your swollen clit, your fingers tightening in his hair.

he seems to be in no rush as he takes you apart slowly, hitting that spot inside of you perfectly as you leak onto his seat, body shaking with pleasure. there’s a small smile resting on his lips when he pulls back to peer down at you, taking in the way your lips part and your brows furrow as he speeds up, pressing down on your clit just right.

you can’t control the noises leaving your lips as you grind onto his hand, chasing your high as he pumps into you. his actions don’t slow down when he moves up to capture your lips again, curling his fingers inside of you as his thumb rubs your clit. you grab his biceps, needing something to ground you as you feel your impending orgasm rushing upon you. 

“taehyun—fuck, ‘m cumming…”

he swallows all of your moans as you tip over the edge, your back arching up into his hold as white fills your vision. you can hear the gentle praise leaving his lips through the ringing of your ears, your body left feeling fuzzy and warm as his fingers slow before gradually pulling out of your sensitive hole. 

“so good for me,” he mutters against your lips, his own traveling down your jaw. you feel dizzy as you catch your breath, leaning into his touch.

“i need you,” you mumble as he lifts his head to catch your gaze. he looks completely enamored, his big eyes glossy, reflecting the light from the street lamps outside.  “i need you in me. fuck me, taehyun.”

 he smiles before sitting back to undo his pants. “anything you want, baby.”

it’s all a blur as he’s back on top of you again, his length hard and throbbing against his stomach as he captures your lips again. his hands roam every piece of your skin he can touch, sucking marks onto your collarbone. claiming you.

you reach down to grab his heavy dick in your hand, stroking him a few times. he sighs lowly in your ear, whispering praise and encouragement that just turns you on even more. it’s hard to be patient when taehyun is bucking up into your hand, your mind clouding up by his hot tongue trailing over your skin. he seems to sense your urgency, placing one last kiss on your lips before lining up with your entrance.

“i’ve got you,” he whispers as if his voice was only made for you to hear. you nod quickly, wrapping your arms around his neck as he presses his forehead against yours. the heat radiating from his body manages to make your clothed, scorching skin even warmer, moaning out softly once you feel him push into you. his eyes flutter shut as you clench around him. “fuck—you feel so good.”

you bite your lip to keep quiet as he slowly thrusts into you, wrapping your other leg around his waist as if it would bring you impossibly closer to him. your fingers tangle gently in his hair, tugging slightly in a way that drives him absolutely crazy.

soft grunts leave his lips once he speeds up, the sound of skin on skin drowning out the muffled music in the distance. your eyes are half-lidded as you strain to keep them open, wanting to watch the way his jaw clenches and his brows furrow. it’s all too much as you take in the fluttery tickles of his lips on your cheek and jaw, the way he stretches you out with his thick cock, the way his hands tightly grip onto your waist as if you could disappear at any moment. 

every thrust into your heat makes your stomach flip with pleasure, getting lost in the feeling of his hips snapping against yours perfectly. he kisses you once more before he leans back, hands slipping down your hips to fuck you even harder, the car rocking with his strokes. you can’t control your sounds anymore, getting closer and closer to the edge with every move. you can tell he’s getting close too by the way his rhythm falters — his grip on you is tight, and you know there would be marks to cover up by the morning. 

“‘m so close,” you squeak out as he intertwines one of your hands, his other forearm resting by your head to lean down to kiss your lips again. 

“me too, baby,” he speaks against your lips, his hips stuttering. “you’re so perfect, y/n, fuck.”

you can already feel your high crashing upon you with one last stroke, your own whimpers falling deaf to your ears as his words tip you over the edge. your body buzzes with electricity as you clench around him, feeling him pump his thick ropes of cum into you at the action, his moans high and breathy in your ear as you cum together.

it takes you a second to come back to your surroundings, blinking your eyes open to see taehyun watching you, silently stroking your hair. he’s still nestled inside of you, but you don’t really mind. he leans down to capture your lips again—it’s passionate and unrushed as he tries to convey every single emotion he’s feeling, his hands coming up to cradle your face. 

you can’t think of anything other than the way your heart flutters as he breaks the kiss to rest his forehead against yours, his breathing still uneven as his eyes open to gaze into yours. 

“thank you,” you whisper, your stomach swooping as he smiles, that dimple on his right cheek peeking out in the darkness.

“don’t thank me,” and his voice is dripping with so much sincerity, you find yourself unable to look away from his eyes, your hand coming up to rest on top of his. with a small giggle, you glance down at your intertwined bodies.

“i think we should clean up,” you speak light-heartedly as your nose brushes taehyun’s, and he lets out a small puff of laughter, nodding in agreement.

you don’t know what any of this means anymore—how your heart flutters at the way taehyun gently cleans you up before pulling you back in his lap to kiss you silly, how he drives you home, walking you up to your door with your fingers interlaced with his. how you linger for a moment, not wanting to leave his side so soon even though you can barely keep your eyes open long enough to unlock the front door.

but all you know is that yeonjun doesn’t cross your mind again for the rest of the night.

reblogs are very much appreciated!

masterlist

©️BEOM-PYU

[builtbybrokenbells]

Melodic Memories | JTK | Prologue

In a tattered old box shoved deep down in the corner of an overfilled closet, a lifetimes worth of memories lie dormant at the bottom waiting to be rediscovered.

Masterlist

Playlist: Apple Music | Spotify

Pairing: Jake Kiszka x f!reader

Word Count: 3k

Warnings: breakups, feelings of sadness, crying, high school relationships, angst, fluff, sorry if i miss any!

welcome to the show, everyone 😁 glad to be back with another Jake fic. as always, enjoy, be kind, and don’t mind any grammar mistakes! (this has been sitting in my drafts for SO long)

August, 2014

“Eight songs, Y/N. I sat there for hours, listening to as much music as I could. I sorted through my dad’s old vinyl records, and all of the CD’s Josh and I could find in the house. I searched for lyrics on the internet, I even asked my mom if she had any ideas.” Jake explained, taking a step closer to you. There was a small plastic case in one of his hands, a bushel of hand picked wildflowers in his other, and a look in his eyes that made your heart ache with all of the pain you had been holding back. “This is it; eight songs that tell you exactly how I feel about you. Four that tell you how much I love you, and four that tell you everything you need to know about how I feel about you leaving.”

“Jake,” you whispered, your lips pressed together tightly as the corners of your mouth dipped down into a frown. Your eyes were shining under the warm yellow hue of the ceiling light, the threat of unshed tears growing more imminent with each second that passed. The walls of your childhood bedroom were familiar, but completely different all at the same time. Years worth of cherished memories flashed before your eyes as the boy stood before you amongst half-filled boxes and your torn-apart closet.

“No,” he cut you off, shaking his head so you could not speak any further.

His hair was long, moving against his skin with each turn of his head. It reached the middle of his neck now, and it would only get longer as he continued to grow it out. You couldn’t help but feel that the long hair suited him best, that it brought out the beauty of his face even more than it already did on its own. He’d been talking about it for so long that you could already picture what it would look like on him. You were sad that you would not be able to see it when his mission was complete and the ends of his hair tickled the underside of his shoulder blades.

No, you were sad that you would miss any stage of Jake’s life, devastated that there would be any version of him you were unfamiliar with.

The sweatshirt he was wearing was heartbreaking all on its own; you bought it for him months prior on your three day trip to tour the university you were now preparing to attend. There were bags under his eyes, showing his exhaustion and discomfort with the current arrangement the two of you found yourselves in. His eyes themselves were bloodshot, and worse than that, they were sad. You hated seeing anything less than joy written in his features, because he was a boy deserving of things that were only ever good.

Right now, you knew that what you were doing to him was anything but good, and it was fucking killing you.

You only ever wanted to be the reason for the smile on his face, and now you were the source of his misery; you loved him so utterly and deeply that you turned into the very thing that hurt him.

“You said you didn’t want to make this harder than it needed to be, but it’s going to fucking suck no matter how we do things. I can’t let you leave without telling you—“ he cut himself off, clearing his throat as his gaze flickered to the floor. There were tears glistening in his eyes, too, but he was much more afraid to show them than you were. “I can’t let you go unless I know that you know how much you mean to me.”

“It is hard, Jake. This is the hardest thing I have ever done.” You confessed, sniffling away your sadness as you tried to cement the memory of his face in your brain forever. He was beautiful, and he always had been. His warm eyes spoke love without him ever opening his mouth, and his smile was the only thing that could brighten the darkest of days.

“The whole distance thing is stupid, and I don’t like it. We’ve been together for three years, and I can’t sit at home and act like you don’t mean anything to me.” His words were equal to a stab in the stomach.

You did not intend to hurt him when you suggested taking some time away from each other. You thought it would be easier, that it would make your departure less painful as you both came to terms with the fact you would be leaving him behind, but so far it had been nothing but horrendous. You stayed up every night, staring at the ceiling as you remembered what it felt like to lay next to him. You listened to new music, hoping it would make you feel something other than sadness, but the emotion that plagued you grew tenfold when you realized you had no one to share it with. You checked your phone constantly, hoping to see his name grace your screen, only to find that he was too good at respecting your wishes.

Jake was your boyfriend, and it had been that way for a long time, but he was so much more than just that. He was your best friend, your confidant and the very thing you knew you could lean on in times that were tougher than usual. He was your light in darkness, and he was everything you ever needed all at once. Jake was the whole world, and in that moment, he was yours. As of late, you felt more stupid than ever before, unable to forgive yourself for letting him go. He loved you through the awkwardness of growing into a teenager, and he loved you through the usual triumphs and disasters of high school. He loved you when you thought no one else could, and he did it so well that you had no idea what to expect now that he was not going to be yours anymore.

He stood before you, freshly eighteen with a new found freedom in life. You were just shy of the same age, but the freedom you found did not feel very special at all. You expected your high school graduation to be sweet, exciting and fun, but so far it brought you nothing but turmoil. You scored top of your class and had people throwing scholarships in your face. As much as you wanted to enjoy it, you couldn’t seem to find any joy in the experience. You tried to blame it on your nerves as you spent the summer preparing to drive states away to attend a university that you had only visited once, but you knew it had nothing to do with that. You were thrilled to continue your studies, to pursue something that you had spent your life dreaming about. You were excited to meet people, to grow into the person you were always meant to be.

It was not the school that made your stomach twist with nerves, but the knowledge Jake would not be coming with you. It was the knowledge that after three years, you would have to learn to live without him by your side, and worst of all, you had to digest the fact that he would move on. In due time, his heart and the love he once gave to you would be someone else’s, and he would be happy again, without ever having a second thought about you.

No matter where Jake went, you knew he would flourish, that he would find someone that would love him just as much, if not more, than you loved him.

That thought was comforting as much as it was gut wrenching. Jake deserved to be loved, but you wished you were the person who could love him the way he deserved.

What hurt just a little worse than that was the passing thought that you would never find someone who would love you the way Jake loved you.

You had done everything with him up until two weeks prior, when you pleaded with him to give you some space so you could grieve the fact your relationship would be coming to an end. You did not cut off contact completely, and in that time, you had called him almost daily and payed short visits to his house every now and again. You wanted it to make you feel better, but all it did was make the ache of missing him grow even larger despite him still being there when you needed him. You knew that when you got in your car the next morning, it would be the definite end of the two of you, but it did not mean you were happy, and you were certainly not okay with it.

If missing him while he was still beside you hurt achingly bad, you could not imagine the pain that would come as you drove away from the only thing you ever wanted to have.

The two of you discussed the topic heavily over the last few months, finding yourselves in a great debate of whether long distance would work for the two of you. Eventually, after many tears and lots of sad, sleepless nights, the two of you decided that it would be best to let the loving relationship you had created remain a memory. He didn’t want you worrying about him while you were focusing on your studies, and you didn’t want to tie him down while he tried to make his own life at home.

Although the two of you agreed on the terms, it hurt like a bitch.

“I’m sorry, Jake.” You whispered, your bottom lip quivering as you tried to express your remorse. “I didn’t know how else to deal with it.”

“Just listen to what I have to say, and then you can deal with it however you want.” He tried again, still staying strong despite the pain growing larger in his heart.

“Okay.” You whispered, giving a slight nod as you stepped back and took a seat on the edge of your bed. He followed suit, stopping by your dresser to place the sparse bushel of wildflowers down as he approached you.

He took a seat beside you, extending his arm for you to take the CD. Slowly, you grabbed it from his hands, a slight shake to your fingers as they clasped around the cool, hard plastic. You looked down at the white surface through the clear cover, feeling the first tear fall from your eye. In the familiar, scribbled handwriting, a love note more romantic than any other littered the surface of the CD.

‘I can’t tell you how I feel, so I’ll let the songs say it instead. All my love, Jake ᥫ᭡’

“Wild Horses, Rolling Stones.” He started, watching your face as he spoke. “You told me when we started dating that your dad used to sing it to your mom, and you thought it was the most romantic song in the world until they got divorced. You said that you hated it, and you would never be able to listen to it again, and I could tell that you were so sad about it. So, I sang it to you. I wanted to turn it back into a good memory. I learned the chords and I used my dads old acoustic guitar, and I was fucking terrified, Y/N. It was the first song I ever played for you, and you told me that nobody had ever done anything so nice for you before.”

“‘Cause nobody ever had.” You said, the sentiment still remaining true to this day.

“Wonderful Tonight, by Eric Clapton.” He continued, knowing his time was running short. The evening was darkening into night, and he wasn’t keen on spending your last bit of time together solely talking. “We slow danced in the kitchen to that song, ‘cause I told you I didn’t know how to dance and I didn’t want to embarrass myself at prom. You let me pick the song and then you taught me how, and I think of you every time I hear it.”

The memory was as beautiful as the song was, and you felt another tear fall at the explanation. You had no idea how you were going to let him go, and no desire to do it, anyway, even if you knew it was for the best.

“I need you, Lynyrd Skynyrd. Pretty self explanatory.” He let out a small chuckle, which you joined in on. “The Air That I Breathe, The Hollies.” He jumped straight to the next track. “Listen to the words, and you’ll get it.”

“Jake, this is too much.” You took in a shaky breath, swiping tears away from your cheeks.

“No, Y/N. It’s not enough.” He corrected. “You deserve the whole world, and I wish I could give it to you.”

“You’re not making this any easier.” You forced a smile on your face, your cheeks damp with your own misery. He reached out, swiping away the tears as they fell, hoping that by some stroke of luck, he would still be yours even long after you had gone.

“It was never going to be easy, beautiful.” He finally said the words he’d been holding back the whole time. He had tried his hardest to convince you that it would be okay, hoping that in turn, he would convince himself, too. Now that he was sitting beside you, still just as sad, he knew easy was subject, and only time would heal the wounds that were created that night. “If You Gotta Go, Go Now, by Dylan.”

“Or Else You Gotta Stay All Night.” Your lips turned upwards into a small smile. It wouldn’t be from Jake had there not been at least one Dylan song on the track.

“Exactly.” He nodded. “Ain’t No Sunshine by Bill Withers, cause I know it’s gonna be pretty dark for a while after you leave, Sunshine.”

“Don’t say that.” You said, feeling your stomach twist with remorse.

“It’s true.” He argued. “Romeo and Juliet by Dire Straits, ‘cause maybe it’s just the time that’s not right for us.” His voice was quiet, cracking as he forced the words out, like he was fearful to get an unwanted answer to his rhetoric. “Maybe in the future, the time will be right, and we can try again.”

“God, I hope so.” You confessed, the tears making a rapid return. The more he spoke, the more real the entire thing felt. For years, you had brushed the topic off, forcing yourself to believe that senior year and university was so far away, but now that it was staring you in the face, making it impossible to see past it, you realized the time had flew by like nothing at all. You didn’t want to leave him, because he was the only thing you ever wanted. The idea of having him again in the future made the ache ease ever so slightly, but knowing that the whole middle part would suck made the relief insignificant.

“And the last one is We’ve Got Tonight by Bob Segar, ‘cause we do, sunshine. We have one more night to love each other, and I’ll be damned if I waste it. So here I am, with eight songs and some flowers that I found in my backyard, asking you if you’ll let me love you until you leave tomorrow. It doesn’t have to hurt right now, and we don’t have to let it hurt worse than it has to.”

“Okay,” you breathed, little argument left in you. If he wanted to love you, you weren’t stupid enough to turn him away. Tomorrow, when the sun rose in the sky, illuminating the mistakes you made and highlighting your successes, you would deal with the inevitable disappointment that came along with losing him, but you didn’t have to start yet. At that moment, you still had him, and you wanted to savour the feeling of Jake Kiszka being yours for as long as you could.

“Okay?” He asked, almost shocked at your lack of rebuttal.

“Okay, Jake. We’ve got tonight, so let’s make it last.”

[openphrase123]

What's your workflow for planning and then executing a long-term project, like the massive fics you write?

this is how i do fanfics And also original stuff and it's how i've been writing for like ten years (your mileage may vary though i think long project planning is a different kind of beast depending on the person.

also this is the same process as i have for making other media too but obviously with the language tweaked to fit the media (like this is how i plan and execute my game, too!)

have a scene or concept haunt me so thoroughly that i write a short speculative piece about it. if you get here and it's good but can't get past the next step, that's a sign it's meant to be a cool oneshot instead of something multichaptered

decide why i'm making it. what question am i trying to answer, what themes am i trying to explore?

write 2-3 chapters of it freeform style, not caring about where these scenes are going or how they flow into each other (for things that aren't fics, this can just be like. a small section of what it Is). if you're not feeling it here this is a sign to make the scope smaller and make the piece as short as you can tolerate it for. if you are feeling it, this is where you're figuring out the overall tone and style of how the wider work is going to go

figure out the ending. write the ending scene now if you have to. you can change it later but you need to know generally where you want to go

make an outline. how many sections do i need to get from the opening scene to the ending scene? what happens in each chapter?

for ME and how i post, if this is a fanfiction, write at least 25% of it before posting a single thing. or if nothing else write 3 weeks of updates.

start posting

vibe and write at least 3 weeks in advance. if you need a break you need a break. it's free fanfiction, people get it.

now, some creators will be like "whatever you write, take out 10% of it to be economical" this is the modern writer's equivalent of the devil talking. you need the fluff. you need the downtime. you need the epilogue. slow your fucking stories down. let people marinate in them. yeah if you're writing something short form or in a specific format you might need to take stuff out but if you're writing fanfiction or a novel or a game and there's no limit on how long it is. don't worry about spending a couple pages dicking around. every piece of human media from the dawn of time has had interludes, B plots, long meandering pieces of fluff... it makes the parts where the story Hits really stand out. inutile's tragic moments wouldn't be as effective if there weren't fun jokes or levity interspersed in between

that said you need to know when to stop adding shit. only put things in that you think you have a reasonable time to address fully and completely. you will learn this the hard way one day and i cannot teach this or stop you from making this mistake. i learned this mistake writing homestuck fanfiction when i was 13. but in my defense it's really easy to go overboard with homestuck fanfiction

panic because i'm like 90% of the way through and tired of it and start doubting whether the story was ever good at all and if this was wasted time

finish it. celebrate. wait like two months

reread my own work and say "this is sick as hell"

(if this is original work, this is where you start editing it. this is a different beast. i will not elaborate here. fanfiction is for fun and is at the same level as my original fiction drafts. on a rewrite everything will be more polished and purposeful)

repeat forever and ever as long as there are stories to tell

also. this one is just me because it's how my brain works. but ideally i work on two/three longform projects at once, so that when i get tired of working on one my brain will go "ooh shiny" and latch onto one of the other ones effortlessly. if you have adhd this will either work for you perfectly or it will ruin your life

[formulafics]

Hi there! I just wanted to come on here and say firstly I love your fics so much like they are amazingly good and also wanted to say keep up the good work :)

And secondly what tips would you give someone who wants to make their own smau?

And I hope you are having a good day/night ❤️❤️

A fic writers guide to figuring out how to create your own smau’s, and not lose your mind doing it!

A/N: Hi! Thank you so much, I appreciate it 🥹🫶🏻 Also, i’m sorry it’s taken me a while to answer you! <3 Since I get asked this quite a bit, I went ahead and made an ‘official’ post for it. You can ask any other questions in the comment, or through my ask box!

First and foremost, I’ve made a few posts about this, and as I always say, i’m still figuring it out myself, so take this advice lightly, as you may not agree with all of it as you make your own works! This is solely from my experiences as someone who’s been writing and making fanfictions for at least 4 years.

✎ ✐ CREATING SMAU’S 📱

This account is the first account i’ve made Social Media au’s on! Therefore, i’ve only been doing these for a little over 4 months.

My first tip is to play around with your layout! When you read smau’s, i’m sure you notice that almost every fic has a different look. There’s no right or wrong way to do it, just mess with it until you find what you like!

My second tip is to use whatever app your creating in the fic as reference. What I mean is, even though I do not use twitter, I have it downloaded so I can look at tweets and the responses, in an attempt to mirror that in my works! Same goes for instagram, and any other social media app you use! I also use the profile pictures that the drivers have by looking at their pages, as well as what other drivers/celebs like their posts.

Add on to the second tip: While I suggest doing that, It is up to you! Youre creating a fictional story and if you’d rather take the likes and responses into your own hands, that’s okay! That’s a part of learning what you like, but I added it as it’s something that I personally find incredibly helpful at times.

My third tip, and possibly my most important one is to have. a. layout. Fanfictions, for me, are so much easier to create when I take the time to lay it all out! You can either make a draft on Tumblr or use your notes app to just make bullet points of the order your story should go. It doesn’t have to be perfect, but it’s genuinely so helpful in allowing you to keep track of your story, as well as not missing any of the points you want in your fic! I find that if I make a smau without a layout, there are often small mistakes that I only notice after it’s posted, and while it’s not that bad, It’s still much more satisfying to not have those mistakes.

My fourth tip is working smarter not harder. That’s not to say that if you don’t use these things, you’re not smart - in fact, to any smau creators that edit everything themselves instead of using a generator, mad props to you. However, if you’re interested in the generator, I use it for my twitter posts! I also added some other apps I use when creating my fics.

⌕ TWITTER GENERATOR LINK

-> used to create my twitter threads

⌕ COPY AND PAST SYMBOLS

-> symbols used in my fics, and to decorate my blog!

my symbol archive: © ★ ❀ ⋆ ⤷ ⤻ ⌕ ⌇ ⌗ ✎ ✐

⌕ PICSART

-> used to crop pictures, add filters to them, as well as the border you see on my tweets! it’s free (with some restrictions if you don’t pay), but still has a good selection of ways to edit.

⌕ PHONTO

-> the best phont app i’ve come across. used to create my header and any pictures you see with words on them, such as the header for this here post!

⌕ CANVA

-> i don’t use this one a ton, mostly because i forget about it, but it’s incredibly helpful for creating magazine esque covers, and i usually would use it for adding an article to my fic!

My fifth tip is to not worry about the length of your smau. It doesn’t matter if your fic is one instagram post or 20 of them, just do what you want to do, and what you enjoy doing!

Other than that, I honestly don’t have many tips! Just take your time, use inspo when needed, and have fun with it. At the end of the day, people just enjoy having more content of their favorite drivers!

✎ ✐ WRITING FANFICTION 💻

While I have yet to write full fanfictions on this account, a majority of my time in the fanfiction universe has been spent writing, so here are some tips for that, if anyone wants them!

1. Take your time: It’s so easy to get into the “I just want this done” mindset, but that is not helpful at all! It’s important to try and remember that there’s no deadline for you to complete your works. Slow and steady wins the race. I once wrote a 15k word fanfiction and it took me over two weeks, and even then, I tried to rush it, and that gave me MAJOR burn out. In fact, after that fic, I deactivated the account I had, and took a long break from something I enjoy, writing.

2. Use inspiration to your advantage: Even if you already have a good plot and layout for your story, it never hurts to find pictures and prompts that you can include. Take the time to understand the overall vibe/concept of your plot, then take to tumblr to try and find some pictures that fit it! This can also help motivate you when you’re feeling writers block.

3. As with the smau’s, have a layout. When I write fics, especially long, in depth pieces, I like to break the plot apart and write in portions, then add it together at the end, rather than one straight shot for the whole thing! I hate when i’m in the middle of a story and realize I completely missed a certain scenario I wanted to have in the fic, or when I forgot to emphasize something.

And those are all of the big tips I have for writing!

✎ ✐ THE MENTAL ASPECT 🧠

While writing and creating fanfiction is fun, and can be a stress reliever, it can also be a stress inducing activity, especially when you run an account doing it. As someone with ADHD, and a chronic overthinker, I have tendencies to stress myself out with a number of things, so here are some tips on avoiding that.

First, remember that this is a hobby. This is supposed to be fun, so if you aren’t having fun, consider stepping back. Try to determine why you’re not enjoying it, and go from there.

“I feel overwhelmed with requests.” Almost anyone who writes fanfiction has likely been here - so, know you aren’t alone. When requests start overwhelming you, I would suggest to close them, then take a break from them! Remember that they are requests, not requirements. If you don’t like an idea or aren’t motivated to write it, do not write it. As much as it can suck to have to deny a request or put it on the back burner, it’s not worth forfeiting something you enjoy.

“I just don’t know how to write/create this” That’s okay! Like almost anything in life, it’s a process of learning. Yes, it’s frustrating, but try to remember that this will probably teach you something that will be helpful in the future! If you do not want to take a break, consider looking at prompts and inspiration for your story. Take the time to reflect on your original plot or idea, and either try to change things, or add things that help your idea come together. Also know that if you’re struggling with ideas, many fic writers are probably willing to help you out! While I can’t speak for everyone, i’m more than happy to help.

“I want to write, but at the same time, I don’t enjoy it that much.” This is a feeling that you either understand or don’t, and it’s a good thing if you don’t, but is completely okay if you do! This is a sign of burnout or writers block, and unfortunately, many of us go through it. Like any other hobby, when you do it for an extended period of time, or hyperfixate on it all the time, you may find that you want to do it, but can’t enjoy it. Time should fix this, but you can also reach out to other writers, or even those who read your work! When this happens, either take a step back to remind yourself why you enjoy writing, or take on a new idea, with no commitment. Just write something that comes to your mind, and hopefully it’ll allow you to unclog your brain. (That sounds kind of mean, but I don’t mean for it to lmao.)

Secondly, if you can have a friend or mutual that will help build on your ideas, that is so incredibly helpful. Even if said person is just there to provide some prompts or pictures when you need it, it’s a life saver. That being said, I know not everyone just has this, so the least I can offer is my own inbox and dms.

Huge shoutout to @renarots. I’m sure by now you guys are used to me mentioning her in my fics, but she truly truly has helped me so so much and I cannot imagine making these fics without them. 🥹❤️ And also they’re one of the best friends i’ve ever had, echo chamber aside.

Lastly, write whatever the fuck you want to write. Fanfiction is a world of its own. There’s room for any and everything. As long as you aren’t being downright offensive and harmful, write whatever it is you’d like to, because there is bound to be a number of people who absolutely cherish your work. That’s part of the beauty of this app.

[goatcheesecak3]

HI UR WRITING IS INCREDIBLE UR SO COOL

i was wondering (if your requests are still open) if you could do a dean taylor fic with a GN reader where he lowkey has a breakdown and his partner helps him through it??

just rewatched the entitled, so brainrot is strong lmao

feel free to ignore !!

Nightmare

Dean Taylor x gn!reader

A/n hello! I've actually had this fic in the drafts for about a month, I just never got round to finishing it, so thanks for the suggestion and giving me the metaphorical kick up the arse I needed to finish it :^))) and thank you so much for saying you like my other stuff! It means a lot :^)))

Contains: angst, fluff, not catered to any gender in particular, brief mentions of hostage situation, gun violence

It had been nearly a year since that fateful night. The night you'd stopped Dean from making the worst mistake of his life, the night neither of you were supposed to survive, the night that still haunted both of you. That scumbag Paul had had Dean and Jenna both wrapped around his fingers, with empty promises of a better life and revenge against those who'd wronged them. You'd never bought Paul's act, but it want until it was almost too late that you realised just how awful he really was.

That sinking feeling, when you finally realised what was to happen to Dean was nothing short of mortal dread. You had been sat in your apartment, having opted out of the scheme, because something about it just didn't seem right. Pondering, desperately trying to find the cause of this uneasy feeling, when all of a sudden the pieces just fell into place, and your worst fears were confirmed. You recalled the pit in your stomach bubbling, with rage, fear and nausea all at once, because you'd just realised that Paul had planned to kill your beloved Dean that night.

Almost a year on from that night, you and Dean were both finally leaving those memories in the past. The pair of you had moved to a new city, began to get your lives together, and from an outsider perspective, you almost seemed like a normal couple. But in the dead of night, when no one else was around, you knew that the two of you were bound by your secrets, by your shared pain, sorrow and scars.

"Get off her/him/them" Dean mumbled in his sleep. He was having that dream again.

You held him close to you, hoping that by some miracle your touch would be enough to stop him from reliving that night.

You knew exactly what part of the night he was dreaming about. You'd gone to the house where the scheme was taking place, and were trying to find a way to get Dean out without alerting anyone else. That was when Jenna found you lurking about the property, and had frogmarched you into the house at gunpoint, all too eager to finish you off execution-style. Thanks to Dean, you'd both made it out alive, but it was a close call. You were certain that your fate had been sealed, and you'd never forget that feeling.

It would appear that Dean was never to forget that feeling either, as he stirred in his sleep. You watched his brows furrow, his lips quiver as he mumbled incoherent sounds and his hands gripped the bedsheets. He'd wake himself up soon.

You got to work turning the lamp on, and cracking the window slightly. The cool air would hopefully help bring Dean back to reality, and the warm orange glow from the lamp that illuminated the room, would help him realise he was safe in his bedroom the second he woke up.

Dean let out a choked gasp, as he sat bolt upright. His eyes huge and bug-like, his breathing shallow and fast. His hands scrambled across the bedsheets, searching for nothing in particularly, until your hands found them.

"Dean, honey?" You said, taking his hands in your own and rubbing them softly.

His eyes darted to you, and without hesitation, he threw himself at you in a hug, holding you tight and hiding his face in your chest, letting out small quiet sobs.

"Shhhh, baby, it's okay. It was just a dream. That's all, just a bad dream," you rubbed his back soothingly and kissed the top of his head.

"Sh.. she was gonna kill you," Dean blubbered, trembling in your arms like a lost puppy.

"But you saved me, baby!" You whispered reassuringly, "look at me, Dean, come on"

You tenderly held his chin and tilted his face to look at you, running your thumb over his skin to calm him as you did so.

"My brave boy, you saved me, didn't you?"

Dean's big sad eyes blinked away tears, as he nodded timidly. It pained you to see your usually cocky and laid back boyfriend so frightened.

You pressed a gentle kiss on his forehead and ran your fingers over his cheek.

"It's okay, baby. It's over now, we're safe."

He nuzzled into your chest again, his clammy hands gripping tightly at your nightshirt.

"Every time I close my eyes it's like I'm back in that fucking house" he cried, his tone sounding ever so slightly angry, but mostly just defeated and hurt.

"I know, I know" you cooed, stroking his head and rubbing his back, "come on, let's get you some fresh air, it'll calm you down."

You picked up a blanket from the end of the bed and wrapped it around Dean's trembling shoulders, carefully taking him out to the balcony.

Two rusty iron chairs sat facing out to the city, with an equally dishevelled iron table, home to an overflowing ashtray. You and Dean took your seats and let the cool midnight air wash over you, listening to the distant sounds of cars and late night party goers. After liberating two cigarettes from their packet, you handed one to Dean who took it eagerly. His hand shook like a leaf as he smoked, causing Ash to drop all over the balcony. You watched as Dean inhaled with deep, slow breaths, savouring every last bit of nicotine he could get. It wasn't your typical breathing exercise, but at least he wasn't hyperventilating anymore. These technically being your first cigarettes of the day, rendered the pair of you quite light headed and dizzy.

"How you feeling babe?" You asked quietly, not wanting to startle Dean.

"Tired.. and cold" he replied, groggily, sounding ever so slightly stuffy from crying.

"You wanna try going back to bed?"

He nodded, and stood up to head back inside, you followed.

He seemed calmer now, still clearly not doing well, but collected and less afraid.

The pair of you climbed into bed, and Dean crawled over to you, resting his head on your chest and draping his arm over you. He looked so sweet, his pink lips puffed out in a sleepy pout, his soft hands curled into relaxed fists, and his eyelids droopy.

"Night night, Dean" you whispered.

"Wait..." he mumbled

"Hm?"

"Can you do that thing where you rub my back again? It feels nice" he said, without opening his eyes, only shifting on his side slightly, to give you better access to his back.

"Course I can, babe" you smiled to yourself.

"Love you" he murmured, clearly more asleep than awake at this point.

"Love you too, big guy".

A/n hello! Sorry if this wasn't exactly the most "Dean" fic, it's really hard to write for him without either completely flanderizing him, or making him too cute and fluffy you know? I hope I did him justice though!

Replies and reblogs are very much appreciated! I thrive on your validation lmao

Requests are open! Check my pinned post for details and masterlist! <3

[siredlust]

All Too Well

DOCTOR STRANGE FAN FICTION

GIF not mine

pairings : Stephen Strange x F!Reader

warnings / tags : ANGST, sad ending, bad writing, not proof-read

english is not the author’s first language – please excuse / point out if there are any grammatical mistakes.

➳ summary : After a year of being away and Y/N moving on from Stephen, they both stumbled upon each other.

Author’s Note : this has been in my drafts for MONTHS but i had to go hiatus because of school :,) but, i’m back now! a lot of people have been asking for part 2 so here it is! i hope you lot like this fic :) so sorry if it’s short and badly written, my writing’s getting sloppy

— I do not give permission for my work to be copied, uploaded, or distributed by anyone other than myself.

↳ MASTERLIST — PART ONE ༉‧₊˚✧

They say breakups give us a lesson—

An experience to have a relationship; to feel the highs and lows of it, the love, the happiness, the pain.

You took the plastic bag from the vendor and thanked him.

You walked out of the small shop and to the chilly sidewalk, you took your phone out and sent a quick text to Jeremy.

You put your phone back in your purse, bumping into someone in the process.

“I’m so sorry, I-!” You immediately forgot what you were going to say once you looked up and realized who you bumped into.

It was as if time had slowed down, like everything around you had been in slow motion the moment you recognized the dark haired man who had two white streaks on the side of his hair.

Stephen had just realized that he bumped into you as well and shock filled his features, “Y/N?” Whispered him.

“Yeah, Hello, Stephen.” You whispered, smiling slightly.

Stephen gulped, he still couldn’t believe seeing you in front of him after all these years, he tried to keep it cool so as to not show his heart that’s almost beating out of his chest, “Hi..” He said.

Neither of you looked away from each other’s eyes, still looking at one another as if you were both trying to read each other, “How have you been?” You said.

As if snapped out of a trance, Stephen blinked severally before responding, “I’ve been good.” He gave you a tight-lipped smile, “How about you, how have you been?”

The small smile on your face remained, “I’ve been great.” Your expression dropped a bit, “How are you and Christine?” You said, your voice unwavering.

Stephen gulped and looked down, a defeated look spreading across his face, “We, uhm,” he cleared his throat, “We never got engaged.” He pressed his lips together, “she got married with someone else.”

“Oh.” You whispered, looking anywhere but him.

They say to experience anything and everything in a relationship is a privilege.

To learn from your mistakes and to grow so you don’t make them again.

“Where have you been?” He whispered, hearing the defeat and sadness in his voice.

You looked at him causing your eyes to meet, “I moved to Canada a few days after we.. you know.” You bit the inside of your lip, “I got an offer to transfer from Metro-General to Toronto General and I accepted.”

“Oh.” It was his turn to say it.

You took a deep breath, “Stephen..” You said, looking up at him; his eyes never left your face, he looked at you the whole time—he couldn’t look away, “Just between us, did the love affair maim you, too?” You said softly.

Stephen opened his mouth to answer, “Hey, Y/N! Come on, you’re the only one we’re waiting for!” Yelled Jeremy, which caused you and Stephen to snap out of a trance you supposedly had, and looked at Jeremy’s direction.

“Coming!” You replied back, you looked back up at Stephen, “I’m sorry, Stephen, looks like I’ve got to go.” You chuckled softly.

“Of course.” He said, smiling softly.

You smiled, and caressed his arm before going towards Jeremy.

Stephen noticed snow had started to fall from the sky. He put his hand out and a snowflake fell on his palm, the glistening of it causing him to have a short flashback of the time you and he had fun with snow.

Just between you, he remembers it all too well.

© siredlust, 2022

TAGLIST : @typical-bistander @strangeobsessed

[transmogrified-in-the-void]

Hey 18-20 year olds? You’ve only just started the hardest part of growing up: learning how the hell to do that and how to be an adult. And yeah, I’m in the same boat, here’s some things that have helped me so far

- a friend who is older than you

My best friend is 7 years older than me, and he’s been able to give me so much advice on personal philosophy, how to work on personal issues, etc.

- a friend who holds you accountable/is very honest with you

having a friend who will take you aside and tell you “x thing you’re doing is actually making y hard/unfun/stressful/etc.” is more valuable than yes men friends. These are the friends who will question life decisions if they seem to make you unhappy, in the pursuit of making sure you’re exactly where you need to be.

- learning how to make accountable apologies

Here’s how I structure my apologies now, and I’ve had not only good reactions and conversations afterwards, but I’ve had to use them in various ways. “I’m sorry about x. Y was happening, and instead of doing x thing I should have done z thing. Again, I’m sorry.” It not only has removed the loathed “but”, but it also allows for explanation and a plan on how to avoid it. I will also sometimes add “I’ll try my best to do z thing” if I know I’m going to need some time to fully erase the mistake if it was a habit, but in general that helps a lot.

- start trying to find who is a small dose person and who’s a large dose person

What is a small dose person? For example: I know someone who I can only be around for maybe an hour when with other people before I become irritated by their presence. Is it their fault I’m irritated by them? No, and they’ll never know I am. Because I’m only around them for around an hour once every few months. That’s small dose. It’s the “you’re not a bad person I just cannot be around you for long periods of time”.

- if things you read on social media/the internet make you emotional, restructure how you spend your time

Here’s a really hot take. For those who were tuned in for the dungeons and dragons drama, I’m about to tell you guys something crazy. The draft that was leaked was actually incredibly lenient (I can’t remember what it was called haha). How do I know this? I could tell I was getting a little heated and sent it to a friend who knows way more about that sort of stuff and asked for his opinion, and he told me about other examples of it that were more harsh but not lambasted. If you read a headline or a post or tweet and get up in arms, take a step back and take a breath. You don’t have the time to get emotional about every little thing, you’re too busy growing up.

- make friends or acquaintances who don’t believe the same thing as you

My best friend is a centrist who leans more right than left. I am more left leaning than he is by a good amount. We both have very enlightening conversations because of that. Here’s the funny thing, I do hold some right leaning beliefs anyways because that better supports the area I live in. I don’t want the government grabbing the land around me because they’ve proven to be incompetent. I’m fine with looser gun control because there have been times where mountain lions just. Appear in my city. We have an overpopulation of wolves right now. A few other ones I don’t feel like sharing. My friend has changed how he views certain issues and so I have I because we talk about what we disagree about. If they respect you, they’ll debate but not argue

- not everything is about you

Building off that last point, not every counterpoint is an attack on you. It can feel like it, because you’re still expanding the telescope you see out of into two working eyes (I’m still getting there too), so being able to say to yourself that this is either a) bigger than you or b) not about you at all can help you get through more conversations more levelheaded

- you’re in puberty

Final thing: your body is still a hormonal war zone. Emotions are heightened, thought processes are everywhere, you are still growing up. Give yourself time. And grace. And kindness.

[fiapartridge]

You said will and daisy are mine by Taylor swift coded how so?

omfg i've been waiting for this ask

You were in college, working part-time, waiting tables Left a small town, never looked back I was a flight risk, with a fear of fallin' Wondering why we bother with love, if it never lasts

daisy has always been scared of love (even though she has so much to give). her parents didn't really express their love as they always expected the best from their kids in everything they do: in school, in athletics, in being a good person in general - so she didn't want to be in a relationship where it would just end up in heartbreak

that's why she was so reluctant to be with will (she hated him for a while, but after hanging out with him without gabe around 24/7, she realized that he wasn't that bad - and that she really liked him)

I say, "Can you believe it?" As we're lyin' on the couch The moment, I can see it Yes, yes, I can see it now

daisy and will confessed their feelings during the summer before her senior year (+ the summer before will's 1st year at college -> they confessed their feelings at the draft) & they officially got together (in secret) during her senior year & they went public during her first year at bc.

they were hanging out in will's apartment the day they went public and they were holding hands and cuddling on the couch & it was the first time that they could be affectionate without hiding anything. "can you believe it?" daisy beamed up at will, her hands raking through his blonde hair. "we don't have to hide anymore." will smiled softly before leaning in to kiss the happy girl. "i'm so incredibly happy that i can call you mine."

Do you remember, we were sittin', there by the water? You put your arm around me for the first time You made a rebel of a careless man's careful daughter You are the best thing, that's ever been mine

daisy's always been careful. she watched out for herself. her sister, lili, was one of her best friends but she barely hung around the house anymore after she left for college, and her older brothers, jeremy and jacob, were there sometimes, but she never felt close to them - there were no similarities, nothing that bonded them other than the fact that they lived under the same roof and had the same parents. gabe was her protector. he made sure she was safe and careful - he never let anything bad happen to her. they bonded over music artists, movies, and their weekly drives to the lookout only they knew of.

gabe and lili protected and cared for her because her parents weren't there to do it. yanic perreault cared for one thing and one thing only: hockey & 4/5 kids fell into that category. the last kid was long forgotten, only added into conversations when they asked her how her grades were doing and if she was still doing well in ballet.

hell, they never even went to her ballet performances. she would book out a whole row for her family and the only face she would see in that row was gabe's- every single time.

so daisy was careful. because if she wasn't careful, who was going to remind her to be? gabe was going off to college so he wouldn't be there as much and lili only came home every couple months. if daisy was lucky, she would see lili 4 times a year rather than the usual 3. so if no one was there to check her, she had to do it herself.

she never went out past midnight, she never missed out on an assignment, she never went to any parties - at one point of her life, she was sort of floating through the motions.

but when she hung out with will, it was like all of that was gone. she didn't care about coming home at 2 am, or sneaking into closed beaches, or going to parties and having a drink. when she was with will, she felt alive - and she wanted to feel that way everyday.

Flash forward, and we're takin' on the world together And there's a drawer of my things at your place You learn my secrets and you figure out why I'm guarded You say we'll never make my parents' mistakes

she has a box of her things at will's apartment: extra clothes, a toothbrush, a loofa, a hair brush, all of her snacks are in the kitchen - will's bedroom isn't just his. you can see daisy in there, too.

will understood why she was so reluctant to trust him, to be in a relationship and admit that she's fallen for him - and he was okay with it. he didn't need her to be ready at that exact second. he would wait for her - because she was someone worth waiting for.

And we got bills to pay We got nothin' figured out When it was hard to take Yes, yes This is what I thought about

will was daisy's first bf. she didn't know what she was doing or if anything she was doing was right. but will promised to her that they would figure it out together.

And I remember that fight, two-thirty a.m. 'Cause everything was slipping right out of our hands I ran out, crying, and you followed me out into the street

Braced myself for the goodbye 'Cause that's all I've ever known Then, you took me by surprise You said, "I'll never leave you alone"

when will told daisy that he was moving to san jose after his second year at bc, she was already bracing herself for heartbreak so when the time came, it wouldn't hurt so bad.

she expected him to break up with her. to realize that he didn't want to be with a girl that wasn't there for him 24/7, that was across the country, that wouldn't pack up her whole life to be with him. but when he told her that he wasn't just going to leave her alone, that he wasn't going to give up on their relationship, she realized that he was the kind of guy you don't let go of, that you don't let out of your grasp no matter how hard the situation is, that he was the best thing that's ever been hers.

[howlingday]

Hey Howling, thanks for the advice before! I know asking questions isn't how most people expect advice, but it does work since it forces us to sit down and think a little bigger.

So thanks for that.

I guess that brings another question/advice/opinion I've been meaning to ask you.

When it comes to creating content to share, whether fanfic or original, what motivates you?

Cuz' the more serious I tend to get about an idea, the more I freak out about how much of my own personal time I inevitably start devoting to it.

Which is great in one sense... cuz I get lost into my wondrous world of writing headspace...

... and short little drabbles, and silly prompts are great fun! I really do enjoy them!

But when it comes to fanfics, swimming super deep in the depths of my untethered imagination honestly scares me...

Because who knows if all my effort will be shrugged at and forgotten by the fans or other creators, when I could have been doing something original...?

Or if... when I finally do stick my head up out of the depths of any fandom...

...I'll find that back in the real world, above the surface, the tide of my life will have changed, and I'll realize how much the shore has shifted and moved on...

... alongside my loved ones who will have made new memories without me, every time I insisted on spending just a little more time diving deep, as they never had the urge to go exploring with me...

... all because I was so focused diving into the fandom of someone else's waters.

Sorry, if it got a little heavy, (and I get it if this doesn't get posted), but as someone who gets lost spending months at a time thinking up of new ideas, I wanted your insight on what makes fanfic writing worth it.

Small prompts are fun and a great way to use time, but lengthy-novels and time-consuming art?

What do you think?

Oof... Really aimed right at a very tender and sensitive weak point of mine, to be honest.

But first of all, I'm glad my advice helped you out with your thought process for building your world.

Now, I'mma be really real with you about the whole "time" thing. One of, if not the most absolute worst thought I could ever think of is "how much of my time was this really worth?" Because one thing I find myself often being during my "slumps" is a nihilist. I'll be in my groove, popping out funny ideas and neat little plot points when BAM! I ask myself "What is this all amounting to? Is this something that's going to matter in ten years? Or five years? Next year? What am I going to do in the real world?"

THIS IS THE POTENTIALLY WORST MINDSET YOU COULD POSSIBLY EXPERIENCE.

What helps me out of it is to, well, keep doing it. Get my idea out there and see how much people love it. Keep going at it, build yourself and your style, and learn from your prior mistakes and the mistakes of others.

As for the OTHER aspects in my life, it boils down to numerous factors, because on top of the multiple dozen drafts of asks I have saved for later, I also have my job, my stack of video games to beat and or give up on, my 3000+ YouTube Watch Later list, my MMA classes, and whatever I've got planned with my friends. I remember in college, there was a critical thinking class that said,

"YOU DON'T MAKE TIME, YOU BORROW IT FROM SOMETHING ELSE."

I see the small prompts, incorrect quotes, and spitposts as just fun little writing exercises to just get out there. Definitely play around with them if and when you can.

I hope the advice I gave helps and didn't just sound like me whining. Honestly, the best way to get good at all aspects of writing, including planning, dreaming, and actually writing is to keep doing it. And kinda let it all blend together in your life. If I see or hear something funny or inspiring or just plain awesome, I'll pop it into an incorrect quote and send it out! People love it? Great! No? Oh, well...

But always, always, always...

KEEP UP THE GOOD WORK!

[taddymason]

-20 asks for Fic Writers-

Thanks for the tag @rainofthetwilight!

Tags: @tik-ket and @fanficmaniatic and any fic writer that wants to do this!!

1.How many works do you have on AO3?

I have 5!

2. What's your total AO3 wordcount?

154,728

3. What fandom(s) do you write for?

For now, just Ninjago, but maybe I'll do some ATLA or BB in the future

4. What are your top five fics by kudos?

Stormbound: 406 kudos (I still can't believe it)

Everything I think I Know it's just static on the radio: 137 kudos

Lightning Pin: also 137 kudos

Let the poison bleed out of me: 60 kudos

Spirits in the sky: 19 kudos

5. Do you respond to comments?

YESS Almost always, I don't always know what to answer, so there are some that I don't answer, but I love each one of them.

6. What is the fic you wrote with the angiest ending?

Eh, Let the poison bleed out of me… because Jay dies there so

7. What is the fic you wrote with the happiest ending?

Most of the ones I write end with a bittersweet ending but I think it would definitely be Spirits in the sky! I actually really love the amount of fluff that that one has

8. Do you get hate on fics?

Nop

9. Do you write smut? If so, what kind?

No but... I mean, maybe in the future I will idk kdjd

10. Do you write crossovers? What's the craziest one you've written?

No, but I've been thinking for a while about doing one of Ninjago and Back to the Future. Simply because it's canon that lightning masters can time travel.

11. Have you ever had a fic stolen?

As far as I know, no

12. What's the longest time you've spent working on a fic? And what's the shortest?

Stormbound: I think I spent about a year planning the whole story (?) and it took me about seven months to write it all. I swear that fic was one of the ones I'd been wanting to write for the longest time.

Home: I made that fic and the illustration in less than two hours.

13. Have you ever co-written a fic?

Nop, but i’d be interested!

14. What's your all time favourite ship? From all the fandoms?

HiccupxAstrid from httyd

15. What's a wip you want to finish but doubt you ever will?

The second part of Stormbound. I started making some drafts for some one shots, but a long time ago I decided that this fic didn't need a continuation. I think the ending is quite conclusive so I doubt I'll continue it.

16. What are your writing strengths?

Describe the feelings of characters. I really like replacing dialogue of the characters saying what they feel with simple descriptions and leaving various things implied for the reader. Show instead of tell, I have received very good comments about it.

17. What are your writing weaknessess?

Action scenes. I'm still trying to make them more dynamic and not dwell too much on the descriptions.

And I don't know if it counts but... correct any spelling mistakes because english is not my first language, so every time I reread one of my fics and see some small spelling mistake, a part of me dies.

18. Thoughts on writing dialogue in another language for a fic?

I haven't tried it yet, but maybe in the future!

19. First fandom you wrote for?

Ninjago

20. Favourite fic you’ve ever written?

Everything I think I Know it's just static on the radio

I'm still proud of that fic and I think it was one of the ones that made me most sure to plan everything in advance and that there was some symmetry in the chapters.

-

[5sosfanfictioncatalogue]

100k+ Masterlist

All the hues of blue - FalseDevotion calum/ashton E, 172k

Summary: Sometimes a casual encounter can help you see everything in a different colour.

Arcadia (ao3) - paperstorm michael/luke E, 100k

Summary: Crisp, thin air. The rough scrape of blades on ice. The jumbled, unintelligible echo of male voices, ringing off the rafters and bouncing through the empty seats. The familiar smell, sweaty equipment and rubber flooring and Zamboni fluid. Luke’s taken to closing his eyes sometimes, cutting off his primary sense, and just absorbing the noise and the scent and the feel of cool air on his cheeks. That way, regardless of where he is, an arena still feels like home. Or, an AU in which Luke is a small-town hockey superstar who gets drafted to the Montreal Canadiens, Ashton is the bubbly team Captain, Calum is a defenceman with a bad habit of settling on-ice conflicts with his fists, and Michael is the NHL's first openly gay player.

Awkward (Cashton) (ao3) - Headgehog_Louis007 calum/ashton, michael/ofc T, 110k

Summary: Why must I be so awkward around people? Or right because I don't talk.

Cards Are Dealt - @ashtcnirwin (elivigar) luke/ashton E, 100k

Summary: “You wanna… date me?” he asks eventually, when the silence is starting to feel loaded. “I don’t date and even if I did, I definitely wouldn’t be interested in dating you. I’d say no offense, but… full fucking offense.”

Ashton snorts. “Don’t flatter yourself, pumpkin, I have no interest in dating you either. Actually, the thought alone is exhausting and a little nauseating.”

Clenching his jaw, Luke grinds his teeth and shakes his head. “Then what do you want from me?”

“Sex. I already said that.”

A story about wants and expectations branching out and evolving without the knowledge or consent of those they belong to.

Club of Misfits (ao3) - felixandtae luke/ashton, michael/calum T, 274k

Summary: ❝Everyone has flaws. You me, Michael and Ashton - we’re all just a club of misfits.❞

A club for those who need a friend created by two best friends.

Color of Love (ao3) - felixandtae luke/ashton N/R, 161k

Summary: ❝Sometimes my eyes show emotions I don't even realize I'm feeling.❞

Where Luke's eyes change color based on his mood, but they never turned purple until he met Ashton.

Daisy (ao3) - boomerluke luke/ashton M, 121k

Summary: The last thing Luke expects when he wakes up hungover in the bed of his latest one-night stand is to come face to face with a freaking kid. But there she is all wild curls, thumb-sucking, and nonstop questions. Luke can't get out of there fast enough.

Ashton isn't the type to have one-night stands. He's a parent, after all. It was a mistake, and it won't happen again. At least that's what he tells himself when he comes back from his shower to find the naked college kid still in his bed, arguing with Daisy.

They couldn't be more opposites. At 25, Ashton has the responsibilities of two parents, raising his daughter and trying to pretend like he has everything figured out. At 21, Luke is a self-proclaimed Grindr god who doesn't care about anyone or anything but himself. So why is the universe (with the help of Michael and Crystal) so hell-bent on seeing them together?

It must be Magic (ao3) - tigerlily_sunshine michael/calum, luke/ashton T, 120k

Summary: It’s only Calum’s words playing on repeat in his mind, “Michael’s my friend,” that keeps Michael firmly planted in place. He doesn’t quite believe them. He hasn’t really spoken to Calum since the first few months of their first year at Hogwarts when they finally realized what everybody’d been telling them all along: Slytherins can’t be friends with other houses.

(In which Michael is a friendless Slytherin who doesn’t really belong anywhere, but Calum is bound and determined to prove him otherwise.)

Jumping before the Gunshot has Gone Off (ao3) - tigerlily_sunshine michael/luke, calum/ashton, luke/louis E, 128k

Summary: (In which Michael’s hated Luke since they met, and Luke’s hated him back—except, somehow, they can’t stop having sex with one another. To make matters worse, Luke is dumb enough to go and fall in love with the man who hates him.)

Looks Like He Can Surf (ao3) - LyricalPary (hoseoky) luke/ashton E, 174k

Summary: They spend the summer before university in an old beach house. Luke meets the human embodiment of sunshine. Just like the ocean waves, sometimes people are unpredictable.

Lost Hearts (ao3) - CliffordAffliction ot4 E, 177k

Summary: Ashton, Luke, Calum and Michael live in four different worlds in high school and each one of them is in love with someone who loves someone else. This can’t possibly end well…or can it?

Purple bruises, faded scars and fresh cuts (ao3) - Unholy michael/ashton, luke/calum, luke/ashton E, 140k

Summary: a soulmate au where everyone gets their soulmate’s injuries on their own body and Michael is worried sick about his.

Scene 14 - @daydadahlias​​ (cornflowerblue (daydadahlias)) luke/ashton, michael/crystal, roy/calum, kaykay/sierra E, 128k

Summary: the one where Luke hates Ashton but has to pretend to be in love with him for five months for his acting final except for the fact that maybe he isn’t pretending anymore.

See the World Hanging Upside Down (ao3) - tigerlily_sunshine ot4 M, 117k

Summary: (In which Ashton pines after Luke, who is already in a relationship, and Luke really wants Ashton to meet Michael and Calum.)

The Bodyguard (ao3) - iCheeseYou (EHkook) luke/ashton, michael/calum M, 138k

Summary: Ashton Irwin is a hot and famous celebrity that all the people love, look up to, or despise. He's cocky, selfish, and always puts himself before others. Despite his personality, he's pretty much wanted by everyone in the world.

But when things escalate to the point that Ashton nearly gets kidnapped, his manager assigns a boy named Luke Hemmings to become Ashton's personal bodyguard, much to the star's reluctance and annoyance.

Now Luke follows Ashton wherever he goes to make sure he's safe from any danger, but Ashton is determined to get rid of his bodyguard as soon as possible.

the light in your eyes (ao3) - cashcakeplz michael/calum, michael/luke, luke/ashton N/R, 137k

Summary: Or the one where Calum is beautiful and beaten, Michael is in love with his best friend, Luke is lost, and Ashton just wants everyone to be happy.

Tidal Wave - @ashtcnirwin (elivigar) luke/ashton E, 127k

Summary: A story about figuring out how to handle the difficulties life throws at you, on your own and with the help of loved ones.

Where You Go, I’ll Follow (ao3) -  fourdrunksluts, reversecow calum/ashton, michael/luke E, 211k 

Summary: This story follows Calum, Michael, Luke, and Ashton on their journey to self-discovery. Through first loves, heartbreaks, and friendship, this is the behind the scenes of what the cameras didn’t show through the years. 

[sabraeal]

Hey! I have been a long time fan of your work and I recently converted from being a long time lurker reader on ao3 to becoming a writer. Do you have any tips for new writers? Specifically about actions and dialogue. Whenever I try to write its always ends up being character study or introspection. Thank you!

Oh jeeze nonnie, you asked this forever ago and I'm sorry to have made you wait! First off, thank you for dropping into my inbox and saying hi! I love when people delurk to come talk to me! Second, let me try to give you so basic writing advice-- it may not work for everyone, but this is the way I tend to approach action & dialogue.

ACTIONS

I assume you don't mean big sprawling fight scenes but rather the little bits you sprinkle in scenes and between dialogue, so my best piece of advice is: draft. Sit down with a blank page and write the scene as you see it-- don't worry about getting every bit onto the paper, or it reading well. If you are going to throw a pot, you have to get clay on the wheel. Your first draft is all clay-- you want as much of your thoughts there as possible.

Second: read that draft. Think about all the things that don't quite work, or could be better elsewhere, or really need to be cleaned up. NOW start your second draft. This one is where you refine the concepts you set down before. I prefer to use a whole new word doc because I feel beholden to words already in front of me otherwise, but some people prefer to just tweak on the page...do whatever allows you to work best. No judgement.

There's a whole art to doing a second draft, but that's a lot to cover, so let's dial in to action. Here is where you want to refine the actions you've already written, and replace things like repetitive dialogue tags with something that does more heavy lifting. There are two rules to these minor actions:

They must have purpose

They must be interesting

It's best to remember is that lots of actions are implied, which means you don't have to describe the doing unless it's relevant. If two characters are walking somewhere and talking, you don't have to keep reminding the reader they are walking, unless some part of it is exceptional, or would provide development to their characters. Is one struggling to keep up? Are they winded? Do they have to take two steps to the other person's one? Or conversely, do they have to shorten their stride to make in comfortable? Do they have FEELINGS about it? All that is more interesting than saying "he said as they walked."

If you do have an action that must be described-- say someone has to walk across a room to get them in position for another action later, you don't want to say "She walked across the room." Do they saunter or creep? Are they going over there to do something in particular? Find the thing that readers will care about that action and dial in on that. Is you POV character crossing the room because they are having an EMOTION? Focus on that rather than the movement.

You also don't want to bog down sections with too much movement; when you go through your draft-- and also, your edits-- think about whether lines are necessary. The biggest mistake most people make in prose is not trusting the reader to pick up what you're putting down. Get away with as little blocking as you can, and let the reader fill in the small details.

DIALOGUE

The best advice I ever got for learning how to do dialogue is: listen to people. When I was in high school & college, I had a notebook where I wrote down stuff people said every day that was funny or meaningful, and I would look at how people said things, the small tics each speaker has, what bit of their voice sounded unique to me. It also helped a lot with understanding what made something a "ya had to be there" joke, and what actually stayed funny months after being written down.

When you first start to write a character, you want to think about what makes their voice unique. Word choice matters a lot in dialogue; some people have large vocabularies and use them, some people prefer to stick to more common words, and some use as few words as possible. You also want to avoid the Joss Whedon effect: everyone is equally quippy, and the few differences between their jokes are based on a few character traits. You want to think about whether someone would make a comment...and also how they would say it.

It's really easy in a comedy fic to try to keep the joke going by having every line parceled out the way you say it in your own head-- and in a first draft, you should let it happen! But in the second draft, slow down and ask if that's the way a joke or conversation would go with these characters. I've had some scenes I've loved in first draft that had to be all turned about because Shirayuki is truly a joke ruiner when it comes to timing...but also taking that into account can really elevate a scene. And just like in canon, it makes the times she does get her quips in even more funny.

[eviethelost]

An old draft awaited me here. I recognize the voice, although I don’t remember writing it. Oh, ho ho. How different a person I am from that poor, fractured bird who started this letter. It reads:

Dear Evie,

Tonight I’m lonely, and I miss you. Everything has been going well for me. I’m nervous about writing you, but you never minded listening to me when I was at my lowest points. I feel that if I’m not happy now, I never will be. I have so much to be grateful for, but it’s like some significant part of myself is missing.

I’m nearing my second month of a martial arts class that has changed my life. I got a productivity bonus at work. I haven’t had an asthma attack this spring. I finally have a camp-ready bed frame in the SUV. What I’m the most excited about though, I’m planning a cosplay.

Oh, what a sad human. Still preoccupied with the shitty people who abused them, trying to find joy in their small victories, but never truly happy. Even as they considered the things that should make them happy, the anger lurked in a dark corner of their mind, thirsting to scream out, “Those pieces of shit, they deserve to be punished for what they did to us!” Are pieces of shit ever truly punished? Or do they get flushed because of their reek, never to be bothered with again? That anger stayed with them because they never had a release for it, because they were made to feel that it was wrong of them to be angry after abuse, after denial, after significant betrayal traumas.

I have been competing in fights with about eight months of training under my belt. I’m good. Talented, they say. I worship at the gym, on the mats. I enjoy taking a beating. Each time I get choked out, locked, folded, or wrapped, I get back up and learn from my mistakes. My pride is in playing the game of body chess, studying the mechanics of limbs and joints which I never knew existed. I don’t care how many times I lose. None of it comes easily. I am stubborn enough to keep training, and that is what most people don’t realize. It’s not talent. It’s a mindset. And by now I have won gold a number of times, defeating white belts who have been fighting for over a year.

I have an uncanny physical desire, after months of heightened testosterone and inhaling the pheromones in training partners’ sweat. I eye the young, agile men like delicacies, look on their hard, slick torsos when they strip down after class. The women are fewer and easier to pin. I sometimes find my gaze caught on the crevasse of a soft chest. Occasionally, a man I train with wants me, and I want him back — but I say no. No, for now.

I hate those friends I once had almost as much as I love the new friendships I have discovered — with healthy, kind people who ask about me and look after me like I have always tried to do for others.

The manipulation I faced in my social circles for years has left lasting damage. I’m mentally ill. But now I have fun. Martial arts rewired my brain, treating me better than the medication I should still be taking.

Dear Evie

I can’t say I miss you anymore, small one, but I’m sorry. I’m deeply apologetic that I couldn’t be there to tell those shits what they deserved to hear. To have unloaded on them all that they were due, because they were going to lie and manipulate anyway. You couldn’t have avoided looking bad to the idiots around you who believe that monsters are victims, heroes, and saints.

Stay soft. With love. Yours.